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Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

SPDContributor12 Dec 2018, 11:42 pm AEDT

Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Hello Everyone 🙂 I am new here and I am just wondering if your voices say anything like my voices say to me. First off I have been hearing voices pretty much non stop for 4 to 5 years now. That in itself has been pretty much soul destroying but my voices are particularly ugly and threatening. In fact if they were not threatening me they would have absolutely nothing at all to say which makes them quite pathetic. First off a voice calling himself God of the Game of Life Introduces himself then he is followed by other voices who introduce themselves as Archangel Michael, Archangel Uriel Archangel Meteron etc. There are 4 voices usually competing for my attention at one time and they give me commands (ridiculous commands like) 'give me blood ' or they say ' look up 'or 'get up ' or 'lay down and I'll heal you 'or they tell me to throw out my clothes or personal processions. They also command I get my hair cut or head shaved and I should have my teeth pulled out lol. They also claim to be doctors and give me medical advice and tell me what diseases I am going to die of and they predict times I'll die (ie: 3 days time or a week or 3 months from the time they tell me I am going to die. This of course is in between them tellinge every night they or one of the other voices are going to end my life that night therefore i should sit up all night and not sleep and play (as they call it) with them. Also they are always telling me not to listen to my doctor and stop taking the medication he prescribes. As you can read my voices are quite insane and sadly they make me feel quite sorry for them because I can not comprehend how their brains come up with such vicious concepts. According to my voices the idea of me doing as they command is so they can save me and I'll live for another day. My voices other concept of me acting out their commands is so they can win points (which gives them money to gamble in the game of abuse against me. Now at this point of my voices conversation they change their stories to we are scammed and want you to sign your child's insurance policy over to us. Or we are the police and coming to arrest you (at this point they play out a scene where they claim to be packing up their listening devices and cameras and getting their warrants to come and arrest me. Next they usually claim they are hit men and someone has a hit out on me and my son and if I don't do exactly what they say I'll never see them coming and no one will care if anything happens to us because I don't have a voice any more because I am medically labelled a schophrenic and so no one will listen to me, not my doctor or the police. They make many other claims but I think I given you enough rubbish talk for you to get the idea that my voices would (if I let them and didn't listen to my doctor) cause me to loose all grounding and belief in Father the Son and the Holy Spirit. Can anyone tell me if your voices say similar things? Last off I just like to say I hope that reading about my voices make your voices sound good in comparison and I hope I have not scared anyone with what my voices say remember the voices work at filling our heads with negative suggestions and our imaginations do the rest.

18 replies

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In response to: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Hope4meSenior Contributor13 Dec 2018, 9:47 am AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Hi and welcome @SPD

We don't have many people who suffer the effects of schizophrenia on this forum, but I do know of one in the UK that allows international members. It's great for those wanting to chat as you've described, so I'll leave the link and hope you find others who identify with your experiences.

Good luck with everything! I hope you enjoy the English mental health forum.

Cheers!

Hope

www.mentalhealthforum.net

In response to: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

TaraxacumNew Contributor13 Dec 2018, 10:38 am AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Hello,

thank you for your account of your experience and I am sorry that you have to go through something so hard to deal with and so destructive to your life. We never choose mental illness, it is a terrible misfortunate when it besets us, but we are together in our suffering and can transform these experiences into something that makes us all stronger. I stopped hearing voices a year ago and have since been in recovery via medication and therapy. The voices I heard were part of a psychosis that was characterized by three major episodes that occured across the course of three years. I engaged in some strange behaviours whilst hearing voices like continuously shaving my head, and repeatedly travelling overseas. Whilst I was never diagnosed with schizophrenia, voices definately made up a part of the world of delusions and paranoia that was my psychosis. Mostly, the voices I heard commented on what I was doing with slight remarks like 'that's a winner' or 'maybe not' when I went to do something. I lived with them when they were subtle but during the full-blown psychotic episodes I experienced, the voices and delusions were too much to bare and my mind and behaviour broke down. During major episodes I was so overwhelmed with confusion and paranoia, thinking that people were following me, could hear my thoughts or were out to get me somehow, and voices did things to confirm these feelings, leading me into psychotic behaviour.

I have no idea from where the voices came and sometimes they were affectionate and loving rather than hostile. No matter what they were scary and debilitating - at the best of times they drew my attention away and at the worst they had me completely deluded and confused. The most terrifying part was if and when I acted on them. Sometimes it was very difficult not to act on the input of the voices as they made comments on my life as I lived it.

I have had to be very strong with myself in recovery in saying 'no' to deluded thoughts and re-orientating my brain towards safe, sane patterns of thinking. What helped me most was finding a balance of support across therapy, medication, family and friendships, and eventually things like work and excercise made up part of the framework keeping me healthy. The voices subsided when I ceased to isolate myself and plunged head-first into my relationships and connections, both personal and professional.

Unfortunately I do not know why the voices started, nor why they ended, but it seems that they came about when my greater life was more isolated, less organized, somewhat chaotic and perhaps they preyed on these vulnerabilites, or were made possible due to my vulnerability. So I would say focus on making yourself strong and impenetrable, in my case medication was very beneficial as have been frequent sessions with a psychiatrist and counsellor, as well as group family therapy sessions, which have helped me understand the deeper picture of mental illness in the context of my life experiences.

I have also worked very hard on my personal relationships and this provides me with a strength against mental illness. From this base life rebuilds step by step and I am now enjoying a post-psychotic state of continued recovery into a safe and healthy life. I wish the same for you, most of all that your suffering comes to an end. You are very strong for going through this and know that it can better. Thanks again for sharing (and Merry Christmas)

In response to: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

BunniekinsSenior Contributor13 Dec 2018, 5:40 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@SPD Hi SPD when my voices start screaming they screaming nonsensical abuse. I often cannot understand what they are saying. When they are calm there is one voice who has a very masculine voice who speaks very seductively. He is my lover and boyfriend although he can be cruel as well. At times I can also feel him .... I know that sounds strange but it is true. He manipulates my body.

Since I have been on the right medications I have not heard any voices .... thank god. I can get on with life now.

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

SPDContributor13 Dec 2018, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@Taraxacum Merry Christmas and Love and Light for your response. I am so happy for you to hear thar you no longer hear voices and that your inner strength and the right support has regain for you a happy fulfilling life, as you deserve. You are right, isolation is a key factor how the voices attack us and create our darkest moments. I'm going to take your advice and keep myself busy and less available to the mercy of the voices twittered company. You have given me hope that the voices can actually disappear, believe me this would be a dream come true as there is so much living I feel I have left to do. God Bless and Thankyou for your kindnes

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

SPDContributor13 Dec 2018, 8:00 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@Bunniekins. I'm glad you don't hear your voices anymore, now you can get on and have real loving relationship with someone who values you as you should be valued. Happy days ahead of you to come with Mr Right. Merry Christmas.

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

SPDContributor13 Dec 2018, 8:06 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@Hope4me Thank you for the link and information, much appreciated. Merry Christmas.

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

BunniekinsSenior Contributor13 Dec 2018, 8:07 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@SPD Thanks SPD :). Merry Christmas to you too. Good talking with you. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Unknown userMember13 Dec 2018, 8:20 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Hi @SPD,

I hear voices to but I do not have schophrenia, I have complex post traumatic stress disorder and dissociative identity disorder as well as anxiety and depression.

My voices are destructive to but in a different way. Mine tell me I am useless and unloved. That my son hates me and I'm destroying his life because I am a bad mother and person and that I would be doing the world a favour if I just died.

The thing I hate the most is that they are always there but when I am stable and strong they are quite and indistinguishable so it more like a soft buzz in my head but when I lose that stability they get loud and clear fast.

It will be good to get to a point where they aren't there at all but I've been hearing them since I was about 15/16 that's 10 years now and they have never fully gone I just learnt to deal with the buzz

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

TaraxacumNew Contributor13 Dec 2018, 9:54 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

Thank you! Im sure that if you look you will find the things that make you strong and give you back your life to lead. In my experience mental illness takes time, and requires patience, hard work and forgiveness, but there is hope. Nice to know I am not alone in my journey. Wishing you well in yours

In response to: Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

SPDContributor13 Dec 2018, 11:42 pm AEDT

Re: Schophrenia, What do your voices say, my voices say

@Former-Member Hi, thanks for responding 🙂 My voices have told me also exactly as you have mention in your post, regardless that I, just like you, know we have been extremely good mothers. It hurts when the voices speak so ignorantly about our motherhood but I've discovered with my voices there are no boundaries low enough for them not to cross, in their attempt to stay in control. I like you, find my voices are more abrasive and loud when I am under high stress. As for the voices concluding their parental rants upon us with the suggestion that we should harm ourselves over their lies, we can only laugh and thank god we don't lack their moral fibre. As nothing would be more cruel in this world than a child to loose a mother. Keep loving yourself and know your worth in every way, no matter what your voices say. Remember the voices are just a chemical, you are the real thing, a person who loves and is loved. Thank you for sharing you voices with me, now that I know your voices say the same things to you as my voices say to me it will be easier for me to maintain my sense of humour next time they accuse me of being a bad mother. And I hope you will be able to do the same. Love and Light and Merry Christmas.

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