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advice needed :/ :(

missrubyCasual Contributor

advice needed :/ :(

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I need advice
I struggle with depression and anxiety and I have for years.
But I've been with my boyfriend now for almost a year and last may I left a job and moved in with him and starting working at his stable (horse racing) there was a girl who worked there and he always told.me stories about how her ex thought they were sleeping together and I asked and he said no it.never happened so I was comfortable working with her and we went out a few.times where she was there, but last night I found out they did sleep togetger. she caused me to lose that job and she has the career I want plus she is beautiful and skinny and has everything going for her...do I have a right to be upset that my boyfriend lied back then or am I being silly? I know he would have said no bcause he knew I wouldn't take the job knowing that. I'm his first love and we want to get married and start a family so.I know he has no feelings for her and never did but I can't help but feel like she is so much better then me

Am I being silly 😞 I don't want to ruin things with him and I know it was before he met me

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In response to: advice needed :/ :(

missrubyCasual Contributor

Re: advice needed :/ :(

I should also add I hate her so much she is a really nasty girl and has always been horrid to me

In response to: advice needed :/ :(

tigeContributor

Re: advice needed :/ :(

Hi,
It's great you have plans for the future....but does he have to be the man in your future. I think you should follow your gut instinct. Trust is a big thing is a relationship...will you always doubt him now? Don't worry about her, he should know better.

In response to: advice needed :/ :(

Unknown userMember

Re: advice needed :/ :(

Hi @missruby, welcome to the Forums. Being upset is completely understandable. Even though this happened before you were together, it's the deception that seems to be hurting you. It seems that you have a strong relationship though as you're not so lost in the hurt that you can't understand why he didn't tell the truth. And you're also clear about his feelings for you and his lack of feelings for her.

It's important to not let your own insecurities play too much of a role here. She doesn't sound like a very nice person so all those external qualities and circumstances you envy may not get her very far in life. It certainly didn't get her far with your boyfriend. Our insecurities can be a very negative influence in our relationships so try to view the situation more from your heart, your instincts and your intellect. I think you're doing a pretty good job of that already 🙂

In response to: advice needed :/ :(

missrubyCasual Contributor

Re: advice needed :/ :(

thank you Suzanne I definitely trust him, and I Know this was before he met me. I have had a really lovely day with him and I can now clearly see he didn't tell me because he wanted me to have a great job, I know this girl isn't a threat to us as she has a boyfriend also, I just feel my hurt was more towards hating her so much
And I know he didn't keep it from me to hurt me
Thank you for your kind words they have made me feel so much better about her and I am no longer going to compare myself to her as I know I am a much nicer person then she
Thank you xx
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