FettaCasual Contributor
Dealing with the guilt of "causing" BPD
Hello all of you good people. My partner has been caring for his now 20 yrs son with BPD for the past 5 years. He helped him through his initial manifestation in late teens and things have been going well for his son until recently when he's relapsed (linked with alcoholism). As he revisits now all of the interweb information on BPD he feels more and more guilt at having, he believes, triggered the condition by separating from his wife and children when his son was 11 yrs. He says he can't get the image of his 11 yrs old son's distressed face out of his mind at being told that he was leaving. Since then he has been as involved with his son as any father could be but several times recently during periods where his son has been intoxincated the blame for his BPD has been pointed very firmly at my partner "you ruined my life". Can anyone advise on how they have dealt with similar situations? We are in rural NSW and really struggling to find any face-to-face forums for carers. My partner is aware that his guilt is an issue; he suffered depression post-separation from his wife/children, and he wants to stay well enough to be strong for his son during his most recent relapse. Should we seek psychological advice and if so does it help to seek a professional that has specialist knowledge of BPD?
