Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Hi @Former-Member - we are still 25km bound but that is still better than 5km !!!

harder at the moment is MsS migraines ongoing more days with than without ... neurologist is Feb next year and in meantime trying to fine tune a second opinion on menopause meds and also psych meds that may contribute to the headaches/migraines ... and at same time deal with mood stabilisation she has to have

so the med changes are playing havoc with anxiety , zombie ness , depression , mobility issues etc ... sigh ... I am reminding myself to be supportive and patient as I am the one pushing her to make changes in case it helps - or at least to eliminate possible causal factors / contributing factors

in the meantime daily routine is the key here - coffee in morning - walk at lunch and healthy meal together at night

am mustering hope for a functional life - last three years have been constant headache and migraines ... I am determined to keep chasing options for her and second opinions third fourth fifth ... I refuse to give up !!!! 💪💪💪💪

@Sophie1

It seems to be damned if you do and damned if you don't at times with meds and side effects ... yikes Sophie "tolerability" often the key word. Hoping Ms S does find a happy medium soon.

Hoping you will be able to venture out a little now, being housebound = ☹️

Thanks @Former-Member and @Determined for checking in ... well MsS has been housebound with a sinus infection so I made sure that got out today and went for a swim and then took a trip to recently re opened nursery .. was desperate for soil , pots and plant food and stakes for my tomatoes... the loveliest nursery lady helped me even though it was super busy - I was so grateful for her help ..: she even helped me load the car !! ... then I spent the afternoon in the garden potting and feeding and watering the lawn too ready for a couple of hot days coming ... Ms S joined me for a bit was cranky and critical of everything I did - but at least she was outside for a bit ! Then she said she was so anxious she had to go back inside the house and needed a hot water bottle to calm her down ..: so I did that and she rested rest of day ... Now my turn for some zzzz ... trying to have thick skin as MsS is grumpy and nasty a bit at moment and I know I can't expect too much until the meds settle again ... geeez I hope they do !!!! Ok now I read my book and zzzz thx again for your care and support @Former-Member @outlander @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined ... I have a feeling I need to be in carer mode for a bit and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about that

❤️ @Sophie1 .....

@Sophie1 💐

@Sophie1

Getting back into the garden = yay

Ms Cranky = not so yay

hugggsss my @Sophie1

Thankyou @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Determined @Faith-and-Hope @outlander

I am feeling guilty tonight as I have made plans to go overseas with my mum in the far future to our country of origin and haven't told MsS (at least 3 or 4 yrs away if covid allows). Ms S would not join us as she can't travel in the heat and I really want this trip to be in summer as our country of origin is very special in summer ... MsS refuses to go to any hot destinations and rightly so as due to her meds she doesn't cope well with heat at all ... however does this mean I miss out on all summer trips ?? Forever ?? . I'm worried MsS wouldn't take it well now as she is very anxious already and mid med change and unwell ... I would only go assuming MsS was in a better place and could be left with friends or on her own safely ... also mum is able to pay my way so no financial burden ... and would not mean any special trips that MsS and i have planned for ourselves would be impacted at all .. .. I really want to have this trip with my mum as she is getting older and this would be special for us to share ... I actually asked my mum ... but I feel conflicted not telling MsS as it feels like a secret and I don't keep secrets from her ... but also it is not a solid plan at all and I don't want to worry her when she is so vulnerable at moment already .. why do I feel so bad for not telling her ? It's only been a day .. should I tell her tomorrow or wait for her to have meds settled ?

What a wonderful and generous offer from your Mum and no need for you to miss out or to feel guilty about it.

I always think honesty the best policy in relationships @Sophie1, having said that a lot can change in 3-4 years and raising it as a possibility now, which is what it is, as no firm arrangements have been made, would be fine.

Something along the lines of "when I spoke with Mum she suggested that she would like a mother-daughter trip to visit her country of origin once this pandemic settles and I would love to do this as she is getting older, she has even offered to pay for me to go, won't be for a year in or two etc.."

Perhaps in the mean time you might be able to save for another holiday for the two of you so she doesn't feel like she is missing out.