Beatrix73Contributor
Parents
Im a 43yo grown woman with 4 kids. Why does my parents rejection hurt so much?
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Parents
7 replies
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In response to: Parents
BlueBaySenior Contributor
Re: Parents
Hi @Beatrix73
I can sympathise with you as I have been rejected, abandoned by my parents. And I am 50 yrs old!! My parents haven't spoken to me for the past 6 years. And it hurts, so much that I struggle most days.
I think I expect my parents to be caring, nurturing, supportive and loving towards me. But I am slowly realising that it is my expectation and it is not being met. I crave for them to be so like other parents but reality is they aren't. For me it is this 'inner child' in me that still wants my parents. And it hurts when I don't get it.
I can totally understand what you are saying. Hope things get better for you.
Take care
In response to: Parents
Beatrix73Contributor
Re: Parents
Thank you. This is still very fresh for me and im still trying to get my head around the idea that its real... i keep hoping for a call or txt.
In response to: Re: Parents
NikNikSenior Contributor
Re: Parents
Hi @Beatrix73
Welcome to the forums - I wish it was under better circumstances though.
Many community members here have talked about the pain of rejection from family members, a big thank you to @BlueBay for sharing her own experiences - you are definitely not alone @Beatrix73
Your parents are typically the first type of relationship you know and for most, the first connection you have in your life - which is why rejection can be really painful. But coming on here and reaching out for support is a huge step.
It sounds like this is a new thing - would that be right? Have you recently had a falling out with them?
Nik
In response to: Parents
Beatrix73Contributor
Re: Parents
My partner thinks im wrong but i feel they have been trying to get rid of me for ages. Mum has tried to avoid invitations and doesn't visit voluntarily, this has been for ages. Last week i called to invite them for dinner and was told only if i behaved (i had got cranky with my kids last visit). I told her not to worry and hung up.
I spoke to dad that night about something else and said that mum was upset with me.. he just said yes. So i just said, ill leave it be then and hubg up. Considering we spoke almost daily i havent heard from them in a week and a half. I know i seen parhetuc but im hurt.
I spoke to dad that night about something else and said that mum was upset with me.. he just said yes. So i just said, ill leave it be then and hubg up. Considering we spoke almost daily i havent heard from them in a week and a half. I know i seen parhetuc but im hurt.
In response to: Re: Parents
BlueBaySenior Contributor
Re: Parents
OMG @Beatrix73 this sounds so much like my parents especially the way your mum is acting.
I would call my parents daily and invite them over but they would always find an excuse. So in the end I gave up in inviting them over but it hurt so much. Because I knew that they would visit my other siblings and it would be horrible to feel like this.
I know you said it's still too fresh - has something happened for them to be like this.
I know in my situation it was 6 years ago when I told them I remembered I had childhood abuse memories. That's when it all started.
The last time I spoke to my mum was June 2015 while I was in a mental health unit. She told me I had 'betrayed the family' - so I hung up and haven't spoken to her or my dad since. And what hurts more is my dad goes along with the flow.
I really hope you can sort things out. I know the pain, it is real. Pls take care 🙂
In response to: Parents
Angels333Senior Contributor
Re: Parents
Oh @BlueBay I have had such a similar experience. I first confronted my parents when I was 20 I'm now almost 40 and I still struggle.
In response to: Parents
Unknown userMember
Re: Parents
I haven't really had to deal with rejection from my parents. Just choose mild abuse and I have have to deal with there stupidity. Dads childish and just an idiot and mum is like I'm in counceling to help me deal with you dignouses. 50% of me is like that's night and 50% is don't use me or blame me for seeing someone, also don't discus your classes on how to better your self and what's wrong with yourself with me. I don't need to keep looking after you. I'm the child for once be there for me with zero oh this effects me. I give zero shit how it effects you!!!
But what I find strange taking about rejection is when I start rejecting them they lose there cool. They go ballistic. And it's like well you are half the reason I'm ill so how can you expect me to love you and act all normal. I can't go to counselling and look at you because you make me want to be sick.
It's strange because from what I'm reading everyone wants a healthy relationship with there parents which is great, but the parents can't admit or deal with the illness and issues which sucks. While I'm like nope how dare you try and have a relationship with me. It's all your fault and I just find it hard.
I'm a bit backwards. Wish this anger would leave but then again I have a right to it.
But what I find strange taking about rejection is when I start rejecting them they lose there cool. They go ballistic. And it's like well you are half the reason I'm ill so how can you expect me to love you and act all normal. I can't go to counselling and look at you because you make me want to be sick.
It's strange because from what I'm reading everyone wants a healthy relationship with there parents which is great, but the parents can't admit or deal with the illness and issues which sucks. While I'm like nope how dare you try and have a relationship with me. It's all your fault and I just find it hard.
I'm a bit backwards. Wish this anger would leave but then again I have a right to it.
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