planning suggestions

@outlander, as long as your Mum can be talked around to supporting it, an aged care assessment can only help. They can assess the person as not being in need of assistance; as being eligible for low level assistance; or as eligible for full care. But none of this forces the person to accept assistance, it just means it's available for them if they need it.

We had to go through this with my parents. Mum hadn't had an assessment at all, and I think Dad had, but it had gone out of date. I think Mum felt as if she was going to be pushed into getting care when she didn't want it. We just wanted to be sure she could get it when she needed it.

@outlander, maybe neither of us is explaining ourselves very well.... 🙂

My experience with my parents was being able to see that they badly needed help, but Mum was flatly refusing anything on offer, and yes, getting mad if we tried to push it. They both needed a higher and more long term level of help than your Pop does, but I suspect that otherwise it was a similar situaltion.

Would your Mum be more accepting of something specifically for your Pop, such as a personal carer taking him out for a cuppa once every couple of days while you're recovering? Paid carers are trained to be on the lookout for any problems that might be developing, so as well as being company they would provide some unobtrusive oversight.

thank you @Smc
No, unfortunatly that was what i was actually trying to organise for pop while i needed a few days to recover. Someone to come in and take him out or just be here and have a cuppa with him, perhaps help with meals if need be and just a quick tidy up as ill have cleaned properly before i go.

Im still struggling with it though, i dont think ill be getting anyone in so im trying to think of ways that will make things easier for me and him for the time i need to be taking it easy.


would you or anyone have some suggestions now that i think having outside help is unlikely to happen and that includes cleaners and meals on wheels and things?

im really stressing about it, more so becasue pop is gettin quite forgetful. ive told him 5 times the same thing in 2 days but other things on top.




@Bunniekins@Shaz51@Former-Member@Former-Member

Hi @outlander,sounds like you’re really worried about this.

- frozen meals (labelled & dated)

- jellies & icecream for you 🙂

- stock up fridge

- catch up on all housework beforehand

- plan to ‘do the basics’ for a week

Try have someone come stay with your pop while your away. Or at least visit with a meal.

Just be matter s fact about

- being away is necessary

- pop needs supervision.

- then walk away.

You’ll be surprised how well it all works out.

out at the moment, back later 🙂

Better include some more nutritious mushy food too. I know from experience that post-dental painkillers and a largely empty stomach are a bad combination. Major wooziness.

I've made things like thick soups and tuna mornay with grated vegs instead of chopped ones as "recovery foods".