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Coping strategies

SurfbirdSenior Contributor06 Nov 2018, 12:13 pm AEDT

Coping strategies

Hi all

I've been in a mess for days now, I've got bpd, cptsd, anx & depression diagnosis, on the weekend my husband went away visiting his father (he is ill), I found that I was not coping and self managed ok, I didn't do anything I regret anyway so all good, then after he got home Sunday I felt much better, was all happy Monday and he drops on me that he wants to legally separate, to separate finances and protect himself legally, he wants to remain a couple though ?

Well that sent me into a tail spin and I've been implementing my coping strategies, I exercised, I surfed, I listened to my special playlist for such occasions, I checked out my photos of people I love and good memories, I self medicated a fair amount, and listened to audiobooks but today I have no will power so I'm writing some of this stuff out to try something else, I don't want to exercise today as I'm aching from yesterday and I'm smoking again, ow I did do something I regret on the weekend, started smoking again, now last night my son contacts me from Europe he has had his passport stolen and will be missing his flights home till that is sorted, I just feel like I need to somehow explode without damaging my life anymore.

Argh

4 replies

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In response to: Coping strategies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor06 Nov 2018, 4:08 pm AEDT

Re: Coping strategies

Hi @Surfbird

Difficult times. Difficult decisions.

I know a lady who did a similar thing, separation but still live together. It was all about money. She had more than him.

Not sure if you like this type of music but is called

I've been in the Storm too long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUujg0BTIjk

In response to: Coping strategies

GoatV2-0Senior Contributor07 Nov 2018, 11:09 am AEDT

Re: Coping strategies

@Surfbird.

Sorry to hear about that. Already having to deal with so much and on top of that a separation?.

Coping strategies aside, It does seem odd that he would request that only to want to stay together. Whatever you decide, make sure it's the best thing for YOU as clearly that is what the other person is doing here also.

It sounds like you're trying all you can to create some space from these challenges in your life which is really good. Sometimes I find though that I can almost put too much pressure on myself to do these things. Even if it is with the aim of trying to create some breathing room in my own head.

With all that's going on and the very real changes that are likely to come your way in terms of the relationship etc.. TRY to be gentle with yourself above all else.

Especially where your relationship is concerned, some of these things simply require the time they deserve for us to work through and come to terms with them.

The coping strategies you're doing are great, but with life changing events like this; allow yourself the time necessary to process and make peace with what's unfolding if you can.

In response to: Re: Coping strategies

SurfbirdSenior Contributor07 Nov 2018, 2:42 pm AEDT

Re: Coping strategies

Thanks @Appleblossom @GoatV2-0

I listened to the song I appreciate the support thanks, I like the new song by Laren daigle "you say" https://youtu.be/sIaT8Jl2zpI

hope u like

thanks goat, your right I'm trying desperately to rid myself of overwhelming feelings, story of my life.

I do need to experience some of this just can't cope with the intensity sometimes

In response to: Re: Coping strategies

AppleblossomSenior Contributor07 Nov 2018, 4:11 pm AEDT

Re: Coping strategies

Great piano and great words. Thank you @Surfbird

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