How I've been trying to remove or mitigate the Triggers for Depression and hope it could help you

So I was asked by NikNik about how I'm attempting to 'fix' things to reduce stress, anxiety and depression.

Sometimes it takes a lot of soul-searching to identify the source of the problem. Best to think of this in quiet place such as in bed, not good for sleep, but good for thinking things through. I'd think about where the conflict is in my life, how it made me feel and what were the potential options to get rid of or reduce it. Sometimes just having an option, even one you don't use, is restful. Make a list!

Firstly, make sure your body is taken care of. Always endeveour to get enough sleep if you can, keep drinking water even if you don't particularly like it, try a little excercise even if it's a few laps of the house to start with or dancing to the radio a little. I have tried to reduce caffeine intake (though it has not helped with the sleep so I think I'll just go back), I try and walk when I can, and I love sleep when we can get aquainted.

I also try positive affirmations. Not "I love ME" ones as to me it's false and... fruity. A positive affirmation can be as positive as "I have a well functioning *insert functioning part here*" or "I have the correct number of eyes." It may sound silly, but it's a start and it's less resoundingly plastic than "I love ME' when you just really don't. If you find a formula of realistic positive affirmations that seem to help, use them to interupt the brain-demon in its downward spiral.

I have a series of 'journals' where I vent everything. This helps clear the mind as you no longer have to store it, it's written down. It also gives you time to calm down and brain-dump. I sometimes re-read these and from there I can identify what was happening and what seemed to trigger it. I used to fail to date them but dating them can be interesting. It can also help heal.

If you live where there are toxic people, people who make you feel like dirt or degraded, you need to get out. The internet is a good resource for this and old friends even better. I know that sometimes that can't feasibly be done because they're breathing over your shoulder or they're family or they need you. But if you can, research some housing alternatives or just prepare a plan. As I mentioned, sometimes having a plan is helpful. It helped with my irrational fear of becoming homeless. I also found when I was trapped at home that escape can be a book or computer games or creative writing. I wouldn't recommend them though, but if that's the only option it's safer than drugs and alcohol.

As hard as it sometimes is, try to attend social events and talk with those you know. Maintain the relationships with friends even if it's through email or occassional social gatherings. I like to think of myself as wearing a 'uniform' or putting on my 'fighting' clothes to go out and socialise as it helps me make it out the door. Try not to think about the 'what if's and such. If a toxic person attends the event you are going to, make sure to politely avoid them, and mingle. This has been an effective strategy for me with my brother at social events.

Ask your doctor about any meds you are on, if any. For me, I have bad reactions to birth control hormones. I had an Inter-uterine device and found myself shrinking away into nothingness. It seemed like I could say nothing right and everything I said was offensive somehow. Mum once mentioned she too had bad reactions, so I worked out when I started feeling this way and tied it to the IUD. Getting it out was easy, It's a trip to the GP. As for the meds, have your doctor make sure they're mingling ok and not causing strange side-effects, or that the medication itself hasn't listed depression or anxiety as a side-effect. They'd be able to help sort that out. If they don't and you think that there IS a problem, see another GP.

Identify and remove toxic people from your life, or accept them and ignore the barbs when they come. I can't 'remove' my dad or brother from my life. I love them because they're my family, but I don't always like their behaviour or their attitudes. To cope with this, I moved out by using the contacts that I forgot I even had. I know it sounds bad to 'use' someone, but just a conversation with trusted people can have massively positive outcomes. When I visit my family, I allow some of the negativity to slide by, but when it becomes to much, I remove myself from the situation. You can do it politely.

Choose your own councellor or psychiatrist. I did a little research after I found councelling was a band-aid solution, it made me feel a bit better for a little while but I'd end up at the same place. Ask trusted friends or family if they've any suggestions or use the phone or internet to find someone. You can change them too and often thay'll expect it.

Do a course that YOU are interested in and that is fun. I still try to 'fit in' and want to get the 9am-5pm job, have my 2.4 children, slave away for a mortgage and have a reasonable but not brilliant married life. So far, none of this has happened successfully. But I AM doing a course that I want to do, not what is expected for me to do. Do something for yourself, even if it's just a sleep-in.

I still have a long way to go, and probably read like one of those happy life coach kind of people. I'm not. I still am puzzled by why people are so alarmed by self-harm, or why they think that thinking about suicide is so terrible whan you haven't acted on it, or understand that for me it's about feeling peace inside, kind of like messed-up meditation. Or why you see so many facebook posts on depression as a cause, yet you feel that if you told the person who posted it that you were depressed they'd get uncomfortable...

Anyway, I hope I have helped someone a little and not offended anyone in particular as that was not the point of this text-wall. Everything starts with baby steps, this is a good cliche, I use it from cleaning to getting up in the morning.