A carers own physical and mental health.

I think looking after yourself whilst caring for somebody else is so important. In my family more than one person has a mental illness. It seems that everybody is so busy trying to cope with their own symptoms it's hard to look after somebody else. I go by the old rule - to be useful to others you must first look after yourself !

Thanks for your thoughts Harry on remembering to care for ourselves while caring. Something that has really helped me through the learning process of being a carer, is attending support groups where I can talk to others who really understand my feelings, thoughts, frustrations and joys. This was a tremendous weight off my shoulders, because it made me realise that I was not the only carer in the world! And through the support group I have been able to learn how to better manage my caring role in a myriad of ways, which has made all the difference to my mental and physical well being. The workshops and courses I've been attending have not only given me 'time out' for myself in a physical sense, but have also contributed to my education on mental health which has been of benefit to me and, therefore, indirectly to my son. I guess overall my learning through our continuing mental health journey, gives me a positive outlook with hope, as opposed to despair.

I think that most Carers have the same problem in that they let the caring role totally engulf them and feel guilty and selfish for wanting some "me" time. But Carer's need to know that without time out for ourselves we will burn-out and then not longer be the carer but the care recipient. You need to physically and mentally refresh yourself so that you can cope better for the long run.

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@brandnewday wrote:

Harry, I'm curious what meditation/mindfulness you did and how you came across it. I know of a couple of people who have found it a bit help but I wouldn't have picked them to be doing it. BND

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BND, I practice meditation regularly and I've found it helps me immensely with my patience, ability to cope with stress and in letting go of negative or maladaptive thoughts. I tend to practice a form of zazen (Zen meditation) called shikantaza (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shikantaza). Shikantaza means "just sitting" and is a form of mindfulness meditation. I got into this when I was living in Japan but there are Zen centres in most capital cities around Oz 🙂

I sometimes also go back to the beginners practice of counting the breath. This is great for concentration and for help in "letting go". Thoughts will arise and will interupt your meditation, this is natural. In fact, letting go of these thoughts as they arise is the practice of meditation. It helps you in your everyday life to let go of things that are not beneficial, like grudges or negative thoughts etc.

One of my favourite quotes that relates equally to meditation as well as life - "The obstacle is the path". How you deal with the difficulties in your life is the path you take through life 🙂

Hi @Harry , @3forme , @Jess , @Jo , @Daisy , @Ruby , @Brodie , @Graham , @Tim_H & @Ner22 ( there's are others I'd like to mention, but I can only mention 10 at a time 🙂 )

Even though this discussion is quite 'old' (it was one of the first ones in this Forum!) I still think it's one of the most helpful! I often come back to it to remind myself of people's tips and advice.

I wanted to let you all know about Topic Tuesday tomorrow night (24 March) kicking off at 7pm AEDT. It's about the loss a carer experiences. It's looking at how to manage our change of expectations about our lives and the ones we care for, when there's been a diagnosis, or something triggers the realisation that things won't be the same again.

Often we don't recognise this as loss or grief, but this session will help identify those feelings and offer advice and techniques to manage it. You can join the conversation here

I hope to see you there 🙂

hi @Mindful , @Itwillbeok & @VCS ,

I just wanted to alert you to the post above. I couldn't tag you in the post because I had mentioned too many people, and the system had a melt down 🙂

Hope you're all well.

Nik