My journey with My Bipolar II partner

Its frustrating and really difficult @Sophie1

I guess it is difficult for your partner too. What is an innocent error, and when should one say .. limit ... or say .. no more driving ...

What is responsible and when is fatigue too high. When is it wise to use the energy one has and get a job done.

Perhaps it will always be a shifting situation and that ... rigid expectations are unlikely to work. Maybe communicating a little more before making daily practical arrangements.

Sorry Cant help much, but I agree they are real issues.

@Sophie1 Hi Sophie1 hmmm ... yes well my car has borne the brunt of my mi more than once. The thing is when you are manic yeah you shouldn't be driving but tell that to someone who is manic.... what I did when I was going through manic stages was give my keys to my daughter. Worked well as she safe guarded the keys while my moods were flucturating. Now that my meds have controlled my moods I don't have those mood surges and we no longer have to do this. Maybe that would help. greenpea

@Sophie1 the driving is a scary situation and one that I have had to contend with in a couple of different ways. The worst when Mr D was suicidal which was a very ordinary time, otherwise was speeding was his main offense; but he did wreck a tyre driving over garden edging rocks even though driveway more than 6m wide. It was concerning as he usually is a very good driver. He is no longer allowed to do community driving (due to MH events) which was a loss to him (and us) and he would see further restrictions on his driving as catastrophic. Thankfully he does have insight at present and will tell me if he is too tired etc

With regard to the other hype, I try and direct energies to jobs that are necessary though Mr D is inclined to do things enthusiastically but not well.

Is there a plan in place for when hype recurs? Can you let treating team know? Sometimes a med tweakage is required. Rapid cycling = 😬. I find Mr D comes across as being well when he is hype and pdoc thinks I am being over anxious. I did read an article in a bipolar blog once that acknowledged pdocs predominantly see patients in depression and often carers feel their concerns re: hype are ignored until tipping point is passed.

Could say a lot more, will tag you in some posts you might find helpful.

@Former-Member Thanks for sharing your experiences - our conversation last night was very much around trying to pace physical exertion when she is high so she avoids over exerting herself to a dangerous level of zombie exhaustion - altho I’m not sure if the zombie factor is physical exhaustion result or just the low after a high and nothing to do with exertion ... anyway I’ll have a read through the links - thx heaps as much as I avoid it over the years previously I do know that education is mandatory - but I resent that I’m the one reading and educating myself and that she is not

@Sophie1 Hi Sophie1 yes my memory during periods like that isn't great either. Just another thing to contend with I suppose

@Sophie1

Yes, it can be frustrating. Responsibilities for things that we 'did not sign up for' when we dreamt of living happily ever after.

Learning changed my confusion and hurt into love and compassion.

The 'Aware' bipolar talks are really helpful and not onerous to watch. When euthymic, your partner may find them helpful.

Sending very gentle thoughts your way.

Darcy

There is so much to deal with having a partner with mental illness. I am usually very supportive of people who suffer, but also had to leave a relationship with someone who had diagnosis of schizophrenia and not doing the work re the illness. When in triggering situations or episodes it often too difficult to have much influence, illnesses will run their course, best take a long term view.

Recently I had a BiPolar diagnosis and I do plenty of research and certainly dont use it as an excuse not to contribute to my living environment. I do all work and bills.

It is important to take the time to figure out the right balance in our individual relationships and you do care. There are times when it is important to call things out. I am getting there with my son.