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Kj21Casual Contributor
This is my first post. My 19 year old Daughter has, on several occasions tried, to take her own life. I dont know how to help her anymore. She refuses to speak to me about anything beyond asking me what's for dinner. She says she is seeing several psychologists and is taking medication, but she lies to me constantly. I have been a single mother her whole life and she is my only child. I'm so scared. How can I support her if she wont let me?
In response to: Alone and confused
JoeTheLionSenior Contributor
Hi @Kj21
Welcome to the Forum..
I'm so sorry you are going through all that. It is so heartbreaking when you've given so much of your life raising someone and they cut you out like that. However it is not uncommon for kids your daughters age to distance themselves from their parents for a while.
It appears as if your daughter might be telling you that she wants to take responsibility for her issues, and that is a promising sign. While that goes against your instinct as a Mum who naturally wants to fix the situation, it is good that she seems to recognise that ultimately she is the one who needs to learn to manage her mental health issues. Hopefully one day soon she will allow you to support her again.
Having said this, one of the things you can do is keep on trying to keep her alive to the best of your ability. It may be helpful to call one of the suicide helplines about how to manage her suicidal behaviour. The helplines are available to all affected family, partners and friends.
https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
If you are ever in doubt about her safety, please call 000 immediately.
That is a huge load you are carrying. I hope you are finding time for yourself, taking time out and looking after your self care. One of the things you can control is doing things that help you to cope and looking after yourself as best you can.
I hope that you will find the forums to be a supportive place for exploring all these issues. Just a tip, if you are replying to someone or wanting to notify or touch base with someone, place an @ before their username, as in @Kj21
All the best
Joe The Lion
In response to: Alone and confused
outlanderSenior Contributor
In response to: Alone and confused
SmcSenior Contributor
Hi @Kj21.
I've also had my 20-something daughter "try" a number of times. She also self harms frequently. I can't guarantee her safety day to day. About the only thing I can do is keep communications open, and try to keep her trust, but it sounds like those things are already strained for you. I'd say the vital thing is to first get her talking- not necessarily about big stuff, just day to day things.
Glad you've come online here, but if you haven't already got face to face support as well, please find some. Seeing if you can book into a psychologist yourself would be wise, as mental health problems can be really complex. It's good being able to get feedback from a professional, and you will need the extra support yourself.
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
Kj21Casual Contributor
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
Kj21Casual Contributor
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
Kj21Casual Contributor
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
SmcSenior Contributor
@Kj21, one of our other regulars, @Faith-and-Hope, made a comment ages ago that's been requoted since- "We're all just walking each other home".
Have a look around the other threads too. The "Hot Chocolate" thread is used by a lot of us when we just want some friendly company, and there's other social threads where we chat about mutual interests.
https://saneforums.org/t5/Social-Spaces/Hot-Chocolate-Anyone/m-p/592223
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome to the forums @Kj21. While my kids haven't 'tried' I have two under psych care for anxiety and depression, in the shadow of a husband who is eating disordered amongst other mental health issues - as yet undiagnosed and completely in denial. Apparently there is a personality disorder on board for us as well, driving everything esle. The changes in my husband's personality were frightening, so if there was a personality change in your daughter, medical professionals might be looking at that too.
Yes, parenting is hard. We can only do the best we know how and have self-compassion over things we can't control.
Walking with you .....
Hugs 🌷
In response to: Alone and confused
ilsCasual Contributor
@Kj21 This is my first post too. I truly feel for you . Although I have a family around me I too feel very alone and confused. My adult daughter I have discovered has started to self harm again and I feel completely helpless and anxious -there is nothing I can do to support her or get her to seek help if she won't.. This last week I have talked to various support /assistance groups and have also seen my GP... I am so stressed and cannot think clearly.... I feel everything I say is not right/nothing I do helps..it is so hard as I am the only one she will share what little she does with...I realise however I cannot help anyone in my current state and have sought support .,, I need to learn to cope first....I encourage you to get support... It's so hard as there is no quick answer or solution. I hope through love and caring we will find a way. Take care of yourself...
In response to: Re: Alone and confused
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Welcome to the forums @ils ..... 🌷
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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