Feeling anxious about going back to work

Hi again @BlueBay. Just adding another voice of good wishes to you for today. Looking forward to hearing how it goes. Hugs.

Hi @BlueBay, so sorry to hear you are having more than the jitters at work. I've been there crying at work too and it's not a good feeling at all, I know. But the work day will be over soon. I hope you'll then be able to go home, put your feet up, take some big deep breaths and relax after your great effort at getting there. Hugs.

Hi everyone

Thanks for all your support. Today was tough, I had a crying meltdown at lunchtime while talking to my friend who works with me.

She said she has never seen me so depressed, so down. I don't know what to do. I did work quietly to myself and at times I was emotional.

So much going on at the moment, i just want to stay home. I want to lock myself up and see no one.

Hi @Drac0@Mazarita@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member

I think I am beginning to admit to myself that I have a mental illness. I am scared of this illness; I am scared that I will never get better. I think I need to talk to someone but there is no one around.

I am scared of my BPD; I hate my behaviour and my thinking. I just want to cry so much.

@BlueBay, hugs again for your hard day. I haven't been around the forum much until the last few days and don't know too much about the background of things for you. But from what I have read it seems like a turning point in your life at this time after looking after your MIL for a very long time. I can understand that it might be a particularly vulnerable moment of adjusting to new circumstances and grieving for your MIL's move to a nursing home. Even though it sounds like it was difficult careing for your MIL, you have spent so much time with her it is only natural that you may feel down about her going into residential care. I wonder if you have therapists or counsellors to help you at this time. Sending kind wishes.

Thank you @Mazarita for your kind message.

I have had a really tough few weeks. And going back to work for 2 days this week was difficult. I had a meltdown yesterday and again this afternoon while at work. Thank god I have a great manager and a close friend who works there as well.

I was so upset today about MIL and her deteroriating dementia that I ended up calling our case manager and having a chat with him. He was very good and supportive and explained that her behaviour is very typical of dementia.

I ended up having a 1/2 break from work and I was ok after that. But the sadness and depression is still here.

While you don't seem to be coping to well with work right now @BlueBay I'm glad you were better after a half day. Being sad & depressed is ok, just remember to take care of yourself.

Hope your weekend is better.

Hi @Drac0

I am okay this morning. We have a friend's wedding tonight at a local winery which will be really nice. Tomorrow my husband and I are planning to go out for the day. And I have just booked a weekend away for next week. We are going to Marysville, never been but looking forward to it. I think we just need some time out for ourselves. Monday I will be home alone so I need to organise something to distract myself. And Tuesday I have my DBT therapist session in late afternoon, which I am so looking forward. I need to talk to her about everything that has happened over the past 2 weeks.

I hope you are doing okay, what are you doing for the weekend.

Take care

Glad you're feeling better @BlueBay. Sounds like a busy weekend. Hope you have a great time and it lets you relax some. Monday sounds like a great doy for cafe coffee & beach walks. Whatever you do enjoy yourself.

Take care.