Crazy_Bug_LadySenior Contributor
Everything has changed so much and I'm lost... ((sorry long post))
Hi All,
Ummmm not too sure where to start tbh, worried this'll just be me babbling...
I used to be an active member on here a few years ago, but stopped coming on because... well not really sure... I guess because I was on every week and then I got busy for a bit and didn't have time, but then felt weird because it had been a few weeks, then months... then years.
I moved from my tiny unit to a secondary house on a property at the start of last year. My dream house really. Had sheep and cattle at my back door, and I was allowed to have pets! I adopted two cats. Loved them to bits.
Yes, life was still stressful and hard, but I had good things in my life.
Then I lost my job as the workplace closed down.
Then I was admitted to hospital for a few days in February after admitting I had pretty constant thoughts of suicide, and a solid plan.
I managed to get part time work doing nightfill. one or two days a week. The late nights, stress and everything was getting to me. My anxiety worsened as I had no reason to leave the house, so would go for days without seeing or speaking to anyone. I had unreliable phone and internet due to my location, and that made everything worse.
Another hospitalisation in May after my psychologist realised I had stopped taking my medication. I didn't feel it was working.
And then in August I decided I was done and made an attempt. A friend was concerned and had called an ambulance I think. It's a bit vague. Woke up in hospital where I was pretty much ignored for a week (the quiet person in the corner is easy to miss compared to the loud argumentitive people) and then discharged.
My parents had to cut their trip short to come home because of this. I was evicted from my rental, had to rehome my cats (which were the only things really stopping me from attempting in the past), and now I am living back with my parents, older brother, sister-in-law, and niece (1yo) and nephew (3wo).
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Two weeks ago I found out that because I've moved districts (literally only 5 minutes away from where I was living) my community mental health team is trying to transfer me to my local mh network.
The same day my psychologist called and said I should try and get a referral to see a psychologist that specialises in DBT.
I do understand their reasoning, but it feels like I'm being abandoned.
I'm so sorry for the long post and coming back on after so long, I just really need to get this off my chest and talk to people that understand...
