Definitely time in Cairns @Former-Member - even if circumstances declare it has to be imaginary time - it's a good idea
I understand what you are talking about - I didn't feel that the money I inherited was my money - time has passed and I have found a way of enjoying it by travelling - taking in Australia one city at a time - and doing it the easy way with comfortable flights and good hotels - and short trips too - my cat is not at all happy about my going away and so I take short trips for now
Still I would have traded this for better relationships with my family but that didn't happen and now can't or won't and with therapy I have got over the need to spend money to have someone listen to me about it - I enjoy my trips and self-care of course -
But I really hear you and I think like @utopia that it's not a good idea to go back to your parents' house - I never liked my parents' house - I felt itchy there - I was a teenager and young adult there - totally frustrated with the excessive control we all had over is and it was excessive and this does not build love or trust and here you are
No one can tell you what to do but we can suggest - if you feel as if you would be trapped in a terrible world of loneliness there then don't - and it is really easy for me to say but then - yes
I did tell my mother I had enough of her mouth and I was not coming back and walked out on her when she was in aged-care and never went back there. I woke up every morning and asked myself if I would visit her and thought about it all day and was glad at night that I hadn't gone there and woke up the next morning with the same argument in my head but I am glad now I never did - I saw her in hospital before she died and I had no regret - I saw a woman with mountains of regret but that was not my problem - and yes - I think she had a form of dementia and it is very sad to think of it from her side but my point is this
I know you were doing what you were doing for your Dad from love and if that was all it might have been good but you had your sibs under-mining you, attacking you - trying to steal your magic which is impossible - they can make you feel as if you are in a nightmare but they can never have the love that you do -
But it is taking so much from you - and I can see it - you are alone and you don't know what to do with the money you have
You need to care for yourself - you have had so much in the change of circumstances of your life recently - inside the past year - and it takes time to sort yourself out and find yourself out. It takes energy you seem not to have right now
I have walked often along the beach on chilly summer evenings and found myself alone and learned to be alone - this is pretty hard stuff - I know - it was a long time ago when I had first sold the family home and moved to a unit on my own. It was a hard time but come March I went back to University and started my Minor Thesis.
It was a whole new life - and here you are - it's a whole new life
You are you here? That is the question. And a hard one to answer
Your money though - it's not the answer to your problems but it is something to make your life easier - keep it safe - it is for you and you in your new life
I hear you - I know - I get it
Dec
