what to do when feeling Overwhelmed

@outlander, I've wondered about putting up some pottery pics, but I don't know if they might give away my "secret identity". It could be tricky finding something that's not traceable back to me. Is a pity- I'd love to "show and tell" my bits and pieces.

A lot of my creative energy at the moment gets directed into gardening. It's funny, there's links backwards and forwards all over the place between my ceramic pieces and the garden. I've used clay dug from our yard to make things, and clay plus wood ash are classic natural glaze materials, so I've done that too... most of my work is based on plant-like forms and patterns. So in a funny way, the garden might be my road back into pottery making when the time comes.

Problem of dealing with New Years sermon solved- not going to church today due to my digestive system still being a bit upset. Maybe that's for the best.

Good morning All,

Have been definitely reading up and following the posts in this thread. Peace + Love to all. Christmas was difficult to say the least, having to be around family. Spending New Years Eve with my three young children, which I'm really happy about :). The journey has been challenging, ups and downs, and now my therapist is changing which was a shock, but I'm welcoming the new healer into my world. Kind of coping despite others issues coming up for various reasons due to their triggers. It's a tough gig on a good day.

@Smc

Sending ever so gentle thoughts your way. When Mr D was critical, survival mode was all I had; his 5 month hospital stay/ attempt was not a secret and friends understood that it was a time of both physical and mental recovery for him, which impacted me.

My own response was to become "paralysed" I gave up doing everything I enjoyed. Whilst I held on grimly to the belief that we could live well in spite of MI I found it hard to envisage what our future would look like; in many ways I still do. Mr D is functionally heaps better, but still finds it hard to see how life can be better. Nearly 3 years on I have begun to enjoy some of the things that I used to. All changes have been slow (as you know my 1 thing a day, decluttering).

I do understand the feeling of flatness, the fatigue, the relentless 'one step in front of the other', of being in a 'wilderness'.

My faith sustained me, a lot of this was due to a book called 'Grace Points' which explained the wilderness experience. It starts by talking about casting off of things that burden us (including new years resolutions 😀) and the need for truth in feeling our emotions. I might tag you elsewhere about this later on in the day when I have time to summarise. There is so much more into how to get through but joining in the feasts is part of this.

Re practical.coping tip for New years resolutions, I would make light of them and still do by saying things like saying I don't intend to smoke, when the inevitable response is 'I didn't know you smoked' I smile and say 'I don't and I don't intend on taking it up'

I was also really helped by this too and I know I have to give Mr D the time and space.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/2012/09/i-said-to-my-soul-be-still.html/amp/

@outlander

Thank you for extending kindness. It is deeply appreciated. I have to say out loud that I'm not a carer for someone with a MI experience, I am in recovery myself but was tagged in this thread. It has been really helpful and expanding my awareness of what those around me experience. I'm still very much in a process of healing, but definitely out of the delusional disorder phase (as guided by therapists and friends). Thank you all for including me in this thread.

@outlander

Awww thank you. For a minute there I felt intrusive and questioned whether Carers needed more individuals who experience MI to assist. I know you know what I mean :). In most cases I believe that due to many societal constraints, lack of support and challenges carers would go through issues re Mental health.

We just got to keep going strong. Also if I reflect back, these traumas and triggers of my own seeded early on as I was the holistic support to my mother from 6 yrs old, we were going through serious Domestic violence. As I continue to work with schema therapy it becomes more and more evident.

The delusional disorder was a rude awakening as my background was community services and very aware of mental health, it really can effect anyone at any time.

Hopefully this all makes sense. Thank you all again.

@Former-Member, been mulling over your post a bit.

Re. faith... I'm someone who doesn't have much patience with the "rejoice and it will all be OK" school of thought. I do think it's incredibly important to be on the lookout for "whatever is beautiful, excellent, praiseworthy" etc. in day to day life, but mourning is an OK thing too. "A sad face is good for the heart." Honesty with ourselves, the truth of what we're feeling, yes.

Years ago, I had to have emergency surgery. While recovering from that, and since, I've realised that there's a lot of differences between a critical event causing debilitation and a condition that results in slow degeneration. Both may bring the person to the same end point, but the slow process sneaks up to it, and the little adjustments the person makes to cope with the gradual loss of ability sometimes mask the extent of the debilitation until it reaches "critical".

We can't pinpoint any starting point with our daughter's MI. In parallel with that, it's hard to measure how much the strain of caring has immobilised us because it's been happening slowly. I do know that I've gradually had to let go of one thing after another, and I've battled to hang on to a lot of those until I couldn't keep holding on any more.

I think a lot of the "let go" things have been metaphorically "put in storage" rather than completely abandoned. I still buy books, even though I rarely find the energy to sit down and read one; I have all my pottery supplies and other art materials and tools waiting to be dusted off; I keep making little notes, and saving pictures and articles from the web, and buying magazines that are "one day" likely to be relevant to the big fix-up that our beloved scruffy old house needs so badly. And all that reflects the hope that "one day" life will get back to the point where I can make plans and set goals. (I have managed to hold on to gardening, even if it does spend a lot of time looking weedy! Oooh, that sounds like a metaphor all on its own...)