Do I say something

I’m new to this forum, or any forum for that matter. I have a problem with my sister, who is 7 years older than me. She has had 2 failed marriages. She has no children. Her only close friend moved overseas a year ago. So I’m the only person she can rely on. We were close when we were children, but have drifted apart over the years. Our parents were holocaust survivors, and were considerably affected by what they endured in their youth. Hence we grew up in a deeply troubled environment, which has scarred us both. I’m fortunate that I found a wonderful wife, and have fabulous children. Though I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago, I have managed to lead a relatively productive and happy life. Unfortunately I have spent the majority of my life putting the needs of others before my needs. My father developed a terminal illness when I was 18 and I helped both my parents till he passed away some 6 years later. I then was my mother’s crutch for 15 years till she passed away. Then my in laws (also holocaust survivors) went through bouts of cancer and dementia. During this time, my sister and I had an on off relationship. Since she was a child, she followed in my mother’s footsteps and always had a scapegoat. At first, she sided with my mother and relentlessly picked on my father. After my father passed away, she vented her fury on my mother. Neither deserved the treatment she gave them, because they were doting parents despite their unhappy marriage. Finally, after my mother passed away, I predicted that it would be my turn to be criticised, put under the microscope and blamed for everything under the sun. She has never been diagnosed with a mental illness, because in her mind she’s fine and just had the misfortune of having bad parents, husbands and brother. Not to mention ungrateful niece and nephew. She left her second partner 9 years ago, and has been chronically depressed ever since. Our relationship has been stormy because she seems incapable of having more than one close relationship at a time. When she was with her partners she put them on a pedestal, and demonised me. I’m welcomed back when she has no one else. I have been hurt by her so many times that I have sworn I won’t reestablish the relationship. But I realise she is sick and can’t bear leaving her down and out. For example, when she had to move from her home during her divorce, I allowed her to stay in an investment I own at a nominal rent for 2 years till her divorce was finalised. I didn’t even get a thank you. In fact a year later, she repeatedly told me how bad my children are and I stopped speaking to her. She called me a year later when she got threatening letters from the tax office, which was my responsibility to resolve. The reason for my post is that I took her for lunch last Sunday because she has become a virtual recluse. She smelled so bad that we literally stayed 2 metres away from her. Her hair looked like it hasn’t been washed or combed in a year. She told me she fell in her apartment a few days earlier. The last time I went to her apartment, about 3 years ago, it looked like a garbage tip. She probably tripped over the accumulated rubbish she’s been collecting. She might have tripped because her eyesight is failing. After years of winging that she can’t see properly, she got her eyes checked, and was diagnosed with very advanced glaucoma and cataracts. She needs surgery for her cataracts but is putting it off till next year because she must wait till the new year to claim on insurance for new glasses. She could barely walk 200 metres without gasping for air because she has chronic asthma. Essentially she is a total mess. Her depression is crippling her. She has the attitude that doctors and medicine are an evil conspiracy. I can’t even get her to give me , or anyone else a spare set of keys to her apartment in case she had an emergency. A power of attorney is out of the question. I have avoided confronting her and trying to advise her what to do, because I don’t want to exacerbate her depression any further. Also, she is great at dishing out advice, but won’t listen to anyone. But I think she is so low and her physical, mental and emotional state are so precarious, she is going to have some major episode imminently. What do I do? It’s like watching the titanic heading straight for the iceberg. Sadly I can’t even say that I even remotely like her, but there is barely a moment in the day that I don’t think about her predicament. And I’m terrified of the prospect that she declines further, and it will be my responsibility to look after her.