Confused6Casual Contributor
Depressed partner blindsided me and ended relationship
Hi everyone,
Well this is my first post here. I guess like most people, I ended up on here because I'm confused and incredibly sad and beginning to be filled with anger/resentment. I have been googling everything I can to try and understand my situation.
Heres the background: My partner and I had been together for almost a year. The year together was perfect. We travelled overseas together, our parents had become friends and we were moving in together in a few months time. To be honest, the relationship was perfect. Not even one fight. The last 2 weeks of our relationship he had begun to get slightly withdrawn and would snap easy. He blamed it on his final year exams. We spent the weekend before we broke up together. He told me on the Saturday morning I was his soul mate, we joked about our future kids names with his family at lunch on the Sunday and Sunday night he sent me a goodnight message saying how much he loved me. Everything seemed normal. The next day we chatted throughout the day and he told me he was having a bad day, he had a bad sleep and was in a bad mood. I rang him up to see what was wrong and he asked to come over for a chat. I still had no concerns what was to come. He ended our relationship in a 15 minute conversation. There was no discussion, no rationalising and worst of all no reason. He said that his depression had come back (this was the first I knew of it in our relationship) and that he had to be alone to get through it. He told me he had come to the decision to breakup Monday morning and described it as a 'switch' going off that this is what he had to do to help his mental health. He couldn't explain to me why he decided that though and why he wouldn't let me support him. He asked for no contact immediately. That killed me. Speaking to someone daily for almost a year and then nothing, compeltely gone. He contacted me 2 weeks ago to organise dropping my stuff off that was at his house. He has turned into a cold, hurtful person. Certainly not the man that I had fallen in love with.
I am incredibly heart broken and sad. This was 4 weeks ago and my emotions are very much moving into my resentment for him. I don't understand how you can walk out of someones life who you say is your soul mate and that you love? Why would he not let me support him and be by his side? I also am starting to question how much of the relationship was genuine and how much he did to please me (he is a compulsive people please in every aspect of his life). I just wish so badly that he was able to open up to me and discuss what was going on instead of walking out on me. He has been married before and it was turbulent and full mistrust and depression. I just wish he could have seen that our relationship didn't have to be this way. He has said that he needs 6-12 months for himself and then we can see what the future holds. He is planning on getting mental health help however has no plans that I know of yet, uni is the only thing he will focus on. I have decided not to wait though, I need to focus on rebuilding myself now. I also know that I deserve someone who will stay by my side. Partners are meant to build each other up and support them even when one has forgotten how to walk, not walk out in a 'switch' of emotions.
Anyway, I hope that made sense. I'm trying to take good care of myself. I'm exercising daily, seeing friends and trying to cook and eat well (uber eats is helping with that a little bit!).
