Intense anger

Hey @outlander, I don't live with BPD (you know that) but I do have anger issues if I am in the midst of a mood shift to either manic or depressive. I am usually quite verbal (mouthing off and threatening fights). It can be kinda embarrassing later on once I've calmed down when I am reminded of things I've done or said to others.

Last weekend I went to a major event in the city where I live. There were thousands of people all pushing and shoving to get onto public transport and one woman pushed past me almost knocking me to the ground. I sprang into a rage and threatened her with physical violence. That's not normally me at all, usually I am really a playful pacifist. It's the mood shift which does it to me. I was kinda elevated at the event and for the days leading up to it (not manic but not even keeled either). It is just pure unbridled rage which takes me over.

I'd never hurt the ones I love though physically. Mouthing off is another thing entirely however. I have a hell of a mouth on me when I get angry. It's something that gets worse if I forget to take my meds (hence the depot injection I take). I'm in control though even when I look out of control... kind of scary really. I don't think I can blame my MI for it though, I think it is just me.

Um I’m new to Sane, there’s too much to say except, yep I know anger. It sits below the surface of my personality,um I try to use it as a tool to state my side of a story or incident, I also use it if I have to, to protect myself. Taking it out on others, sometimes but I find I use it as a friend that will keep me alive. At least it’s a feeling.

I’m hearing you Queenie I like anger, it keeps me feeling. I can’t cry even though my husband, daughter, son in law and their six kids are not in contact with me. I messed up, wait no they all left around the same time 5 months ago. They messed up and left me behind. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

Hi @Blighman and welcome

Yes your right in regards to the kids, It makes me upset that I get angry like that over pretty much nothing. Most of my anger is internalised but sometimes it does rear its ugly head and makes a mess of things.

I use to do boxing, not so much not cause of injuries but I found it a good release too. good luck with it all

Hi @CrazyJ

@CheerBear shared some really good coping strategies in her post, maybe some of those would be helpful for you too? If I find anything else though ill be sure to share them!

Hey @Former-Member

yes exactly!- getting mad a yourself because your mad. What a vivious cycle it can be in that state cant it! Im glad your working on your anger and it sounds like really good self care whilse your calming too which is so great. Well done.

Hey @Queenie

what a strange place to be in- that anger stage between mood shifting. Everyone has different personalities Q, along with different situations and build up frustrations so perhaps your anger comes out in your mood shifts because you can normally control your frustrations....

sometimes we dont mean it but we do need a release, others just often up on the firing line even without meaning to.

I do kinda get what you mean about in control even when looking out of control, im usually the oposite- I look in control but im really not.

I know youve been working on your anger in the past as well, have you found anything helpful?

Hello and welcome @Kak

thank you for your post, it sounds like youve had a really tough time of things these past few months! Anger can be helpful if its used the right way or try to like be assertive rather than aggressive sort of thing. Its interesting that you say you use it like a friend!

Again welcome, I do hope you find being here helpful, your most welcome to start a thread of your own as well so we can support you with your journey, and you can join in anywhere you like. Weve got many social threads too, its not all the tough stuff.

Also if you put an @ symbol at the front of the members name itll tag them for you

@outlander it depends on the situation really in what I find helpful controlling my anger. When it comes to my Father and my anger with him, I seem to journal about it or write here on the forum about it and gain support. When it comes to threatening strangers with physical violence or mouthing off, I figure counting backwards from ten sometimes helps (remembering to breathe). Sometimes anger just happens for me like an adrenaline rush... even though I am still in control of the said situation it is like a rush.

Hey @outlander yep my anger is like walking on hot coal. I can be brutal and the most heartless person person when I’m angry. I think bitter and anger go along side each other. I need to find things that make me happy when like that because I am no good to be around