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Something’s not right

reading/writing things that lead to anger

TheVorticonSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 7:43 pm AEST

reading/writing things that lead to anger

I have an email that I have to reply to, ideally by tomorrow.

When I first read the email yesterday afternoon I couldn't make it through to the end without becoming intensely angry. The second time, just glancing at it brought back the same anger. Today I've been afraid to open it because I don't want to feel that way if I don't have to.

But I do have to respond and there's a bunch of questions in the email that I need to answer. The person didn't say anything aggressive in the email, but it's the type of questions they've asked that are extremely frustrating and the fact is that for some of the questions (it's a long email) they're not asking the right person and I don't think they'll understand the answer even if they did.

I'm literally afraid to open this email which is ridiculous but I don't know how to do it.

11 replies

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In response to: reading/writing things that lead to anger

BunniekinsSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 7:51 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

@TheVorticon Hi TheVorticon (I don't think we have actually ever spoken before 🐵 anyways what I would do is break the email up into bite size pieces. Do a bit then walk away for awhile and then come back again when you have had a break. As for the questions that don't even apply to you I would just politely tell them so and direct them onto the correct person or department. Try not to stress about about it. greenpea 🙂

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:01 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

I think @Bunniekins is onto some great points @TheVorticon - dealing with the email in bite size pieces and replying to one question at a time - walking away and coming back to the next part or question and politely letting the sender know that some questions you are unable to answer - whether that be because it is not your area of expertise or the question does not make sense (or for whatever reason) is ok too.

If you need a break/support dealing with this tonight then reach out here again - happy to help if I can @TheVorticon

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

TheVorticonSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:14 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Thanks @Bunniekins and @Zoe7. I've taken your advice and copied the email into a word doc and highlighted it all black so I can reveal it sentence by sentence.

I really don't want to take the highlighting off though :

robotindifferent:

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:19 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

That is a great way to tackle it @TheVorticon - but you will have to take the highlight off a bit at a time otherwise you will be looking at one big black page and that is not ideal lol

Hopefully after you begin and tackle in systematically it will get a little easier. Goodluck

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

TheVorticonSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:47 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Haha actually a black page would be ideal if only I didn't have to do anything with it @Zoe7 😛

I'm halfway through. I've lumped a few of the questions together into a "I think xyz but here's the person you should really talk to".

Still 6 sentences to reveal. 😕 😞

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:50 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Wow you are powering through it @TheVorticon - well done you. How is that anger feeling now that you are getting it all done?

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

TheVorticonSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 8:56 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Thanks @Zoe7.
It's not too bad because revealing it sentence by sentence made it seem less like a demand to know/provide all the answers at once immediately. So the run-on questions are less in-the-face if that makes sense.

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 9:00 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Yeah that makes complete sense @TheVorticon That is actually the way I try to respond to posts - break them up into smaller chunks so I don't miss anything. As you would very well know - sometimes we are not in the right headspace to read a lot and by reading things a little at a time I can give the post the time it deserves. So I totallly get how doing that with the email works

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

TheVorticonSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 9:54 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Thanks for the help and company @Zoe7 and @Bunniekins. I got the email sent just before my bedtime computer curfew! Phew! I also listened to some calming stuff during my halfway break cause it was tough to get back into it.

I don't think I'll be checking my emails tomorrow 😉

In response to: Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

Zoe7Senior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 10:01 pm AEST

Re: reading/writing things that lead to anger

WTG @TheVorticon - that is a big achievement for tonight

Yes maybe tomorrow have an email free day lol

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.