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Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

GeorgiaFaithNew Contributor26 Sept 2018, 3:25 am AEST

Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

I'm new here and rather than give a huge long post describing my situation my husband has an undiagnosed delusional disorder that involves but is not limited to Jewish freemason illuminati, community and work place sabotage and gang stalking, paranoia and distrust of everyone including myself who he believes has poisoned him (arsenic) and I'm most definitely emotionally abusing and gas lighting.

I've read and researched and called all those I can think of, I'm doing all the right things as far as I can tell, not agreeing not disagreeing with the false thoughts but I don't know what to do about approaching subjects that do actually need to be discussed? For example he's become very controlling and secretive about money. I do not have any access to his accounts, which has always been fine. But I now find myself in a position where I have to ask him for petrol money or lunch money. I have to gently remind that bills have to be paid and he will not discuss work that's coming in or where we stand financially. To clarify I work and my wages go on rent , shopping and general expenses .he's self employed and his business has suffered due to this illness (although he would say due to sabotage). I cannot find any realistic financial help or advice for someone who is not diagnosed. (because he doesn't know there is something wrong). And I can't talk about finances as he completely shuts the conversation down and accuses me of being part of 'it', which obviously stops me from asking about it. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you

2 replies

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In response to: Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

BunniekinsSenior Contributor26 Sept 2018, 10:50 am AEST

Re: Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

@GeorgiaFaith Hi GeorgiaFaith and welcome to the forums. I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder and when I was really sick before I was diagnosed I had no idea that I was sick (it goes with the terriotory). Speaking for myself I wish someone, friend or family member had told me that were concerned about my welfare and takken me to a doctor and then psychiatrist it would have prevented alot of grief.

If you can get your partner to go to his gp that would be good if not I would suggest that you go and have a word with him/her about your concerns. Unfortunately people generally have to hit rock bottom before things start being done these days. This might be the case with your partner .... wishing you well. greenpea

In response to: Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

JupiterSenior Contributor27 Sept 2018, 11:11 am AEST

Re: Facing difficult conversations with delusional spouse

Hi @GeorgiaFaith. Thanks for sharing your current situation with us. It sounds incredibly challenging, especially that your spouse's condition is causing him to perceive you to be poisoning him.

It's good to hear that you recognise you are doing all the right things. Sometimes it may not feel that way, especially if you are not seeing any change in your spouse, but it really sounds like you are trying your hardest to understand your husband's condition.

As @Bunniekins says, if there is any way you could encourage him to see his GP, that would be a great step. Once a diagnosis is established there is much more that can be done to support both him and you. I know he is resistant to discussing the issues as he perceives you to be part of 'it'. Perhaps framing this suggestion in a way that shows your concern over how much all these things are worrying him, which is understandable, and that a doctor may be able to help him with this stress.

I hope you are able to take care of your own wellbeing through this time, because that is really important. The Mental Health Carers Australia helpline (1300 554 660) may be helpful for you to reach out to if you would like more support in your role of supporting your husband.

Take care,

Jupiter

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