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Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor15 Sept 2018, 6:58 pm AEST

Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

Hi, I am wondering if anyone else has had this experience. I am functioning like there's nothing wrong with me, I feel ok, smile, sing, dance, clean, etc, but I also want to suicide and self-harm too. Part of me is, 'nah, it's not going to happen', and part of me is 'do it now'. I really feel ok and I really feel suicidal/self-harming at the same time. I kind of feel anger at myself and last session with my therapist I got angry about my weight. Maybe I am trying to punish myself. It's all kind of funny, as in ha ha and as in strange.

4 replies

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In response to: Confused...*suicide/self-harm talk*

BunniekinsSenior Contributor15 Sept 2018, 7:11 pm AEST

Re: Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

@Lemonjuice Hi Lemonjuice no it is not strange. I have a plan worked out in my head and all I need is that trigger and then bam so to speak. Otherwise I am functioning okish and people in my close circle of family would not have a clue only my pdoc and psych know. I just keep promising them I wont do anything and I probably won't but you know it is always there.

In response to: Re: Confused...*suicide/self-harm talk*

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor15 Sept 2018, 7:17 pm AEST

Re: Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

Ok, cool, sometimes I think I am going nuts and the only one. I have a plan too. I wish we could talk about it. I know suiciding is wrong but there's such relief in thinking about it. It brings about as much relief as planning for a holiday...on an island, with not another human being on it!

In response to: Re: Confused...*suicide/self-harm talk*

BunniekinsSenior Contributor15 Sept 2018, 7:29 pm AEST

Re: Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

@Lemonjuice Haha! I know exactly what you mean I have mine organized in my head for the future lol but hey that could change. I wonder if the mods will get cross with us .... anyways you are not weird or strange there are many of us (I am sure) out there with such ideas.

In response to: Re: Confused...*suicide/self-harm talk*

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor18 Sept 2018, 4:20 pm AEST

Re: Confused...suicide/self-harm talk

@Bunniekins, I am doing better, saw my therapist yesterday, sorted enough issues out to help me calm down and be more positive. Thanks for caring.

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