Feeling Alone & Overwhelmed

@utopia my life style and life circumstances changed dramatically a couple years ago I became a single mother and went through a very ugly break up which triggered my anxiety to go bananas and it severely esculated from there, I changed careers, my daughter changed schools, amoungst other stuff.

I’m trying really hard to change my thought patterns and my current psych is amazing and very understanding we are staring schema therapy this week, so I’m hoping this helps a bit more. I had a much better day Sunday, Saturday I just woke up really sad and I couldn’t find joy in anything. Thank you for your response ❤️

@frog thank you, I’m finding that everyone seems to be pretty supportive. I’m not amazing with consistent contact, I can go MIA for a couple days as I get a bit over whelmed and resort back to my safe shell. Thank you for the reassurance, it’s so easy to feel isolated ❤️

@frog @utopia @Appleblossom sorry I went a touch MIA. Been a emotional past week, I got to see my daughter over the weekend (I have 50/50 custody with daughter) but we had just changed from me having her between 70-90% of the time so I’ve been emotional about her growing up.

My bosses have me feeling stuck and lost at work. They’ve changed my job responsibilities, took a position away and replaced it with another I’m not comfortable with parts of the job. I.e. they’ve put me in what’s essentially involving cold sales (I am not good at that it sends my anxiety crazy, like sweating, rushing talking, fast heart beat, hot flushes) I spoke to one boss (their a couple) and her friend whom is also heavily involved in the business from a behind the scenes scenario, about how this part of the job makes me uncomfortable to be met with remarks like :
“You’re too negative, you need to be more positive”
“Everyone gets uncomfortable in their job”
“You just need to do it”

Plus a bunch of other remarks which are very hypocritical and hurtful. I do overtime I don’t get paid for, I have currently three job titles which sees me doing day to day operations, administration, business development, marketing, business coordinating, function coordinating, writing procedures and policies, invoicing and more. I’m met wth in realistic demands in unrealistic time frames.

And when they are pushing me to cold call business in person and via phone call and it makes me worry before I even get to work. I’m looking for other jobs, I’m just heart broken as this started out as my dream job (originally hired as event coordinator and venue manager).

I realise I’ve just blurred out a lot. I got to see my psychologist on the weekend which I loved, she’s the first psych I’ve ever had that I am excited to go see or want to talk to, she’s the first person to help me find answers about myself I’ve always wanted to know. Like step by step but but by bit. I really hope by sticking with her I can help work on balancing my emotions better and notice when something triggers my schemas. I just really wish more employees were more understanding about mental illness, just because you can’t see the physical signs, doesn’t mean it’s not tearing us apart inside, and feel like we are hanging by a tether.

@frog no I completely understand about forgetting things I have been forgetting everything lately! My girl will be seven on Xmas eve! She’s so big now! It’s been making me teary lately!