Hi @-karma-
Thank you for your reply. I do try, I really do even though I am sure some people don't believe me. I dont like to have depressoin or BPD or memories of child abuse. I hate it all. I am sick of crying all the time; feeling so damn emotoinal all the time, lack of energy, motivation and sometimes I just want to sit on my own and be on my own - but that never happens.
I am currently seeing a therapist who is a DBT therapist for BPD sufferers. I see her weekly and have group therapy weekly. But we haven't started again this year as there aren't any people interested at the moment except myself. I did start this group therapy last year and there are lots of distraction skills I can use. But I still struggle.
I am married and have 3 adult children at home, plus a mother in law who has dementia and lives with us for 20 years. My husband is not that supportive, he knows of my abuse and BPD but doesn't ask questions when i come home from therapy; my adult children (24,23,20) are not that supportive either; when i cry i try to hide it from all of them not wanting to show them my pain.
I do have a very few close friends who I can talk to but I don't as I don't want to hassle them all the time. Apart from them I have a GP who will listen to me and support me and a therapist and a psychiatrist.
I just wish people would understnad what depression is like; what it actually feels like; and the same for BPD what that feels like; how it affects your life, your actions, behaviour - just everything.
Sorry I thnk I have gone off track a bit, i am sorry