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WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

SlybabyContributor20 Feb 2016, 11:57 pm AEDT

WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

I constantly feel restless, worried, scared and anxious. I worry that I am never going to get better and live a normal life or have a career and be successful.

I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but I have been better, i stopped most of my bad habits that I do to harm myself . The symptoms that could be seen or done are gone. I feel like I am more in control but the feeling of sadness comes back.

The feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness is always there. I regret all of the decisions that I made and I always have the feeling of running away all time, which I have done but doesn't really work.

I am on anti-depressants for 2years and therapy for just 6 sessions last year because I couldn't afford it.

Im going to see a gp again but i am always scared that no one would be able to help me 😞 i feel trapped. Help

20 replies

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In response to: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Feb 2016, 12:49 am AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

You havent been around for while. @Slybaby Did you end up doing any study?

It is great that you have managed to improve your self concept. Are you sure you regret all the decisions you have made. Often their are constraints on us when we feel we dont make the best decisions .. we dont see better options or just have too much weighing on us.

Sometimes I feel I drag around a ball and a chain ... and have all sorts of differing feelings ... but a lot of it is just ME .. I am not that comfortable with myself yet, but getting there ... self acceptance is huge.

Glad to see you back ... take care @Slybaby

In response to: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

SlybabyContributor21 Feb 2016, 9:12 am AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Hi @Appleblossom thanks for your reply. Im surprised you still remember me, makes me feel like people actually listen.

I didn't end up studying at all but I've made friends in the student building that we lived in. Me and boyfriend are back in Sydney first 2 weeks was ok but now I feel uncomfortable for 3days already. When i was in melbourne i wanted to live with my family but now i dont.

You think its just the anxiety?
I hate the feeling of being scared all the time. Im having bad thoughts again, i cant handle it anymore.

In response to: Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Fancy_PantsSenior Contributor21 Feb 2016, 12:26 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Hi @Slybaby,

I am really sorry to hear that things are not looking up for you

Are you OK? your language is very ambiguous. If your not then I hope that you consider contacting a mental health service ie

Lifeline - 13 11 14 or Crisis chat

Suicide call back 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636

Those services might be a good starting point and are easy to access. If you then feel up to it, SANE has a support line 1800 18 7263 and online chat - you can get support and referrals.

maybe we could offer some support about how others deal with anxiety? How do you do it?

In response to: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

SlybabyContributor21 Feb 2016, 1:14 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

If the anxiety is unbearable i just cry and sleep but sometimes I manage to workout and it lessens the anxiety. Im going to see the doctor tomorrow and see if they can help me.

In response to: Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Unknown userMember21 Feb 2016, 1:22 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

ugh, anxiety! I have anxiety that makes me feel scared all of the time sometimes, then at other times its less, and then for no reason it will come flooding back again full bore. I keep repeating mantras to myself (when i remember and in the right frame of mind) that 'this is just anxiety, it sucks and I hate it but it cant hurt me and it will pass' or somethign like that. it doesnt make it go away but sometimes it helps take away some of the power it has over me...

I really hope that the dr helps tomorrow and gives you soem ideas/options to try,

good luck

In response to: Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

SlybabyContributor21 Feb 2016, 2:03 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

I have been okay for the past 2 weeks but yes it comes back full blown and thats what Im really scared of all the time. Also, do you have the feeling of worrying about your future?

In response to: Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Unknown userMember21 Feb 2016, 2:19 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

I dont know if this is what you mean, but i worry that past events might happen again, or something bad is about to happen, or feel that soemthing bad is about to happen. But i also get carried away with my thinking and go from oh my goodness that was a crappy day at work/something that happened to, im not goign to be able to cope with my job, i'm going to lose my job, if i lose my job i wont be able to keep our house, we'll be homeless and a meteorite might possibly come and hit me on the head.. i think its called catastrophising,occasionally now i'm getting better at recognising my thinking is going overboard and return to focussing on thethings that I can actually control... lots and lots of counselling/therapy lol!

In response to: Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Feb 2016, 11:35 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

I think working out and being in touch with your feelings are positives, as well as noticing shifts in mood without over reacting to it .. just the noticing .. I am feeling sad ... or sometimes even ... surprise for me .. to notice I am actually feeling happy. I liked that moment ... etc ... I want more of that. Its how I got into singing.

It can be a problem if teariness is really persistant but I had to get over that fact .. and in the end .. the main thing that helped reduce my teariness .. was that it was seen and acknowledged by others. For that you need supportive people around .. That I wasnt always hiding it away, getting triggered.

How did the doctor go?

In response to: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Unknown userMember24 Feb 2016, 3:07 am AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Anixety is the worst. I personally think it's the most annoying part about any mental illness as it keeps me up all night and stressing and being scared over things I should not be scared of. Then if a panic attack decides to join it, oh crap!!! @Former-Member you explain it very well how big it grows.

I personally think most people suffer from it but others worse then others.

@Slybaby just remember all the many thoughts your having and things your anxiety and fears won't really come true. Your brain is just in over drive. Try and do some calming things like listen to music, draw, cook, read a book. Also you can after a while train your self to stop listening to it. I've been suffering from it for over 10 years but have taught myself to most times block it out. I just go um no brain that's silly talk and I don't have time for that I got a schedule today and I don't got time for you and start thinking of my day schedule. And then if it comes back I go really you again your really bugging me today all your thoughts are silly and I don't feel like being upset can you come back next week. I know it sounds so silly but I swear talking down at it makes it smaller.

Hopefully you had a good meeting with your doctor.

In response to: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

SlybabyContributor25 Feb 2016, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

Today i started a job but i was working with other people. My social anxiety kicked in and i left after 2hrs. I thought i was better with dealing with people. Im thinking on focusing with therapy. I only did 6times of therapy before so i guess i need to do more. Im really upset with myself. 😞

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