Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

I lost it today

Zoe1Contributor04 Sept 2018, 3:24 pm AEST

I lost it today

Hi everyone,

I have been providing a home for my son, my home, and I lost it today. Feel really bad but I had been asking him for weeks (after the house became smelly etc. from the odours emitting from his room). I just finished cleaning up such a mess!!!

He has psychsocial problems from drugs, he is 36 now and it all started when he was 11 and got into bad company. He has psychosis and his doctor suspects schizophrenia.

Its no use arguing with him as he just doesnt get it.

I am on a disability pension myself as a result of a workplace incident 6 years ago. I've been diagnosed with PTSD. I have worked most of my life.

He tries to put it back to me as though I am the problem. I wondered where all my dishes and forks were going? Yes the yukky cups, plates etc. in and around his bed. I dont smoke, drink and have never used drugs that are illegal. His choices were heroin, and ice and anything else he could get his hands on. Now its alcohol one bottle every two days.

I noticed the biros that were taken apart and I know they are drug paraphenalia but he denies it. I feel overwhelmed and as though I need some respite.

Im glad I can speak to you girls and guys out there.......its helps.

Zoe 1

2 replies

1 - 2 of 2

In response to: I lost it today

BunniekinsSenior Contributor04 Sept 2018, 5:54 pm AEST

Re: I lost it today

@Zoe1 Hi Zoe1 we are all human and being a carer is hard work particularly when you are not well yourself. Do you have a real life support system for you and your son? This is going to sound tough but if your son is still using and is 36 it is about time he had his marching orders. For his sake and for yours ....

Your house your rules and he must abide by them. Tough love ... they call it. I know it is easy for me to say but sometimes it is the only way. Take care of yourself greenpea.

In response to: I lost it today

Unknown userMember06 Sept 2018, 12:27 pm AEST

Re: I lost it today

Hi @Zoe1,

I am sorry to hear of what you are going through with your son - It sounds like a very tough situation! It is understandable that you may be feeling guilty for loosing it at your son; however, in the same vein, it sounds like he is not listening to you or respecting your wishes (this would grind on anyone's gears)! I can imagine it is especially tough given he does not want to receive help and does not acknowledge any part in the problem.

Given he is too stubborn to get help, have you considered getting help for yourself around this situation - e.g., seeing your own psychologist or counsellor? Sometimes, seeing a mental health professional yourself can help you cope with the situation with your son in more helpful ways. Either way, it is just something to think about.

Also, as you said that it helps you to talk to the guys and girls on the forums around what you are going through, I have suggested some threads you may want to contribute on - in particular, one's with members who have faced similar problems to yourself. Please see, here: "25 yr old son - unable to help himself," by @Kkmum; "Multiple Mental Heath and Drug use,"

by @Nanna10; "Dealing with Denial," by @Camelia; and "My son (24) has Schizophrenia," by @Barbara.

As @Bunniekins said, it is extremely tough being a Carer, so please feel free to continue to reach out on the Forums as needed.

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

1 - 2 of 2