Fathers day

Hi @CheerBear @Broken-Mind I miss my dad awfully. He died over 10 years ago. Slipped away ever so peacefully which I was so grateful for, he died under the best of circumstances with no pain. My dad was like both a dad and mum to me and did the best he could. However my mum and I had a very damaging relationship. I don't know why he married her, his previous wife was just as disruptive. I can only put it down to the abuse and mistreatment he received as a child which established a basis of whom he would associate with and poor selection of spouse. Even if you can't find any good reason to celebrate fathers day just remember your father gave you incarnation to have a lived experience of life, that is what I comfort myself with over my mother every time mothers day comes around. I have lived a life of great difficulty but immense blessing 🙂

Hi @Former-Member

I like what you have written

My dad died less than 10 years ago - I miss chatting with him - he was frail-aged and blind and had lost his short term memory but he had lived a great life and loved it when I reminded him of past events

Others in the family were discouraging saying they didn't want him to live in the past but I can't help think - to this day - why not? It was his past and I had really enjoy those moments too

I loved my Dad and I know I was his favourite. The relationship I had with my mother was toxic too - and since Dad has gone the family has broken up a lot -

I don't know why but this year Fathers Day is hitting me hard -

Thanks for writing your story

Dec

@Owlunar Its nice hearing of people who have had positive experiences of having a father but I am very sympathetic to people who have had bad fathering.

Sometimes the memories of yesteryear can keep an elderly parent in a better frame of mind, recalling the past and going over their life.

Its the way old folks are if they have had good memories. In nursing homes it can stop difficult behaviours. The elderly can get quite difficult to deal with in old age and in some old age home settings they use a compilation of old music tracks they listened to in their youth to pacify them a bit. It seems to work. There was a documentary released about this intervention strategy.

Anyway I hope you have a good fathers day recalling your dad. Its not the same after they are gone, but at least he treated you well and you had a good role model to hold you into later life.

Thanks @Former-Member

I like what you wrote - my Dad passed with a great deal of dignity but not my mother - I had to walk out and stay out - at least she was getting good care but I will never really know what was going on but I think she was a movable feast behaviour-wise and I do indentify with people who have had negative experiences with their parents - it can be so devastating and life-changing - and we are who we are because of them - in what we are and what we are not -

My Dad was a great role-model - my siblings would have different points of view but that's up to them - not my story.

I will be okay on Fathers Day - I had my father for longer than most people have their father - I am lucky that way -

All the best

Dec

I'm with you @Broken-Mind, my bio was my first abuser and even though it was just over 20 years ago it still affects me today what he did and then my step father while he wasnt a bad parent he wasn't a good one either we saw him one day a week for a few hours and he did nothing to help us from our mother who was a drug addict, a manipulator and an emotional & psychological abuser so mother's Day and fathers sucks for when it comes to my parents but me and my partner have a little boy and my in laws help us so much so I have learnt to focus on the family that matters but it still hurts

My father was taken to hospital yesterday on fathers dsy. He has been diagnosed with heart failure.

I’m so stressed and worried for him. Crying so much I don’t want him to die. He can’t. I missed out on seeing him for snout 5 yrs because they didn’t tslk to me after I told them if my childhood sexual abuse. I’ve missed out on so much. I need him to stsy for a bit longer still.

So Father’s Day wasn’t a good day. It was an emotional day.

Hello @Broken-Mind, My relationship with my dad always ends up him rejecting me all through my life , I was mentally abused by by dad and then when i was 17 I was pushed against the wall so hard that i cried @Broken-Mind, @BlueBay, @Former-Member, @Owlunar, @Former-Member, I have not being to the house unil after my dad passed away and i inherited the house 11 years agao

@Shaz51 Something for you 🙂 https://soundcloud.com/medicalmedium/nature-therapy?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=facebook

thank you @Former-Member

it was hard to see dad walking down the street and when he saw me he would dive into the nearest shop he could