Going into mental health unit

It sounds like you have a lot on. Maybe more breaks need to be planned into the family life, generally. I hope you do not mind, but I am hearing that there needs to be some discussion.

Could there be practical things put in play that made life less stressful for you. Respite for mother-in-law, a weekends away doing your own thing etc

Hi Appleblossom

Thanks for your reply. I do have so much on my plate at the moment. Reg. MIL - she has gone into respite for the first time in 20 yrs (a few weeks ago) and it went well. So my plan is to get her in there again next month and hopefully one day soon in permanent care. My husband is the only child and family she has. We are planning a holiday in May so that will be good. But it's the now, in the mean time, how do I cope. I struggle to go to work; I am not happy in myself at all.

So much judgement from family and friends when I am in hospital (it makes me feel so guilty).

As for doing my own thing - I have never done that. When I was first admitted into hospital (2 yrs ago) that was the very first time in 28 yrs of my marriage that I was away from my husband and children. And do you know what - it felt SO GOOD. Just to be away from everyone and on my own, just me. But I couldn't go away on my own even though i would love to because it was cause so many issues at home. My therapist and I discussed this last night and she said it is ok to have a mental health week off just to refocus and regroup myself. It's okay to go into hospital to do that.

So many times I feel like running away because I can't cope; because I want to be on my own.

Wow, @BlueBay, as you and appleblossom have said, you really have a lot going on right now. You are giving such a lot to other people in your life and it sounds like that’s made it a bit hard to get the space you need for your own mental health. Being in a carer role while also facing challenges with your own mental health is huge – no wonder you feel like you need a break!

Well done for having that conversation with your family and getting some breaks planned in the future. It might seem too far away now, but I’m sure you will be grateful to yourself when those breaks come around.

Guilt is a really common feeling for people in a caring role and something that has been talked about in the carers part of the Forums. Please remember that you need support as well, and that taking time out for yourself is important so that you can continue to be there for others, something that I understand means a lot to you as a mum and wife.

There are some great conversations on the Carers Forum about self-care which you might like to take a look at, such as this one from CherryBomb.

You might also be interested in this conversation where @Janna and @Jaye-Kay have talked about their experiences caring for others while also facing challenges of their own.

All the best @BlueBay, I hope you get the rest you need – you deserve it.