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Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

Denv12Senior Contributor02 Sept 2014, 12:30 pm AEST

Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

How many of you can relate to agoraphobia? There's a lot of us out there.

Here's where I got it.In 2000 I discovered I have chronic fatigue syndrome(cfs).It stopped me walking from my home to the carport some 12 metres(40 ft) away.I was constantly getting puffed out at home just doing housework.I have been living on my own for years.Some days I'd have the energy to do most chores other days I'd be struggling for energy.It feels like your constantly exhausted,as if you've just finished running and you just start catching your breath.

Because I dont have the energy it stops me going anywhere.This has been going on ever since.For me to see the world I rely on google maps,youtube driving videos,etc.Its the only way i can see the world.I'm stuck at home.I do have more energy these days through the help of kinesiology,muscle testing chiropractors and doing pressure points.I can do all my housework and chores,play piano and just have a reasonable time most days.

The OCD started in 2006.Its unrelated to the agoraphobia.As I mentioned elsewhere,OCD stopped me doing most things.

I will mention something here that everyone can benefit from.If your flight/fight response needs to be turned down (yes,its safe to do this)a qualified Kinesiologist is a good start.Something to consider.

Chris.

2 replies

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In response to: Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

chookmojoSenior Contributor16 Sept 2014, 1:58 pm AEST

Re: Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

Hi Chris,

Yup, extreme social anxiety has resulted in me being housebound with Agoraphobia in the past, and leaving the house remains a bit of a struggle to this day.

I was 16 when I ended up housebound; couldn't handle school, couldn't get a job, couldn't go shopping, couldn't check the freaking letter box! It got worse and worse till I couldn't open the curtains, or answer the phone, and one day I found myself hiding under the bed, crying, because I could hear kids coming home from school on the street outside. Even though they were on the street and I lived on the 3rd floor the fact that I could hear them triggered me badly enough to hid under the bed.

That was the turning point for me, because I relaised then that no matter how small I made my world, the part I felt 'safe' in would be smaller, because feeling 'unsafe' was an internal factor and not caused by anything outside of me.

I was 17 and a bit when I had this realisation and spent the next 20 years working on myself and pushing, pushing, pushing my boundaries back so that I am now able to hold down a job, eat in public, go walking, and (with a trailing wind) go to the occasional movie/gig/concert. Never did manage to get all the way through a course of study, so remain with 'Year 8' as my highest level of education achieved, in spite of starting (and then quitting) numerous degrees.

Leaving the house is still hard work and exhausting. Along with the social anxiety I am extremely sensitive to sound/smells/touches, so gtting out and about can become physically overwhelming as well as mentally overwhelming depending on the environment.

In a 37 hour week I find that my time at home is not QUITE sufficient to recharge myself from my time out of home, so I am always playing catch up.

My weekends are treasured and very carefully assigned to recharging, so adding in something like going to a movie depletes me further AND takes away from my recharge time. That sort of thing adds up rapidly.... I can push it for a while but the more stress I put on ths aspect of myself the more the wheels fall off in other areas.

At the same time i have to be careful not to get too housebound again as I will RAPIDLY relapse if I don't force myself to leave the house for a bit each day.

It is an absolute tightrope act and there is a lot of wobbling! Still it has been a long time since I have truly fallen, and these days I work with a net.

In response to: Re: Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

Denv12Senior Contributor16 Sept 2014, 4:59 pm AEST

Re: Agoraphobic.Can you relate to this?

I know what you're going through.Its a hard life.I've been through it too.I live comfortable though and I'm mostly bored these days.With any form of anxiety our bodies arent working properly so we push ourselves to hard at the best of times.

I posted a topic on what I do to look after myself.You'll find on the forum.

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