A listening Ear.

Hi All,

First time discussion poster!

Life has been pretty difficult over the past few years. My fiance of 7 years has been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, bipolar and now of more recent BPD. It has taken me years to obtain a diagnosis .

When we first met he was happy we believed we were soulmates. Our lives were very similar both of us having children and being seperated. My children adored him he was socialble he was the life of the party. We had heaps of friends life was great.

A few years into our relationship with him living with us he began changing. He would become irritable, his tone of voice would become aggressive, he complained about everything i was the cause as far as he was concerned for the unhappiness in his life. His mother moved he felt she abanded him, i work full time and have children involved in sports ....he would accuse me of not wanting to be with him. He refused to work always an excuse why he couldnt deep down i knew mentally he wouldnt cope, but yet demanded money whenever he wanted and then would refuse to listen and commence the blame game when we had none.

He would sleep most of the day attend to no housework ,he stopped wanting to socialize he stopped being affectionate he began being more hurtful with his words. We would walk aorund on eggshells not wanting to upset him. He went through not wanting to live i had to contact the CAT team numerous times they never put him in hospital though.

He would meet on occasion new friends. He began spending most nights for weeks on end with them. After a few months he would stop seeing them find another and less times would be spent with me and my children.

He had an excuse for just about everything. Myself and my kids would pull up the driveway they would ask me what mood is he in. He would be extremely apologetic when he had outbursts the following day but would feel more sorry for himself and beg for my forgiveness.

I organized mental health help he would go once or twice then stop saying he had the tools to fix himself. He never did though.

Over the years i have cried many tears, lost many friends and doubt myself because of what i have endured . But i look at him and still see the person i first met one that needs help.

When his recent diagnosis of BPD was made i cried looked up and asked god "why" how much stronger do you want me to be. See i am exhausted im tired im sad and part of me is lonely because of the person i love having these issues wanting me to sort them for him and i enable it. I dont know where to turn, what to do, where to start. Dont know what to say ....used to that because the wrong thing coming from my mouth would set him off................

I just need a listening ear.