Thanks for your contribution to our discussion @Peter_Pan78
With interviews, yes it is in your interest to appear confident (our topic next week) and that can be exhausting, especially if, as you say, you feel you have to pretend to be someone else. We will be chatting about that more next week when we cover how to appear confident in an interview. If it ok with you, I will keep your comment close by and address it in more detail next week.
On the topic of rejection, so true! When we don’t get any response, especially when we have sent multiple applications, it can make us feel like crap. To put in all of this effort and to have no idea why we haven’t been successful in obtaining an interview can be really disheartening, bring down our confidence and self esteem and make it increasingly hard to motivate ourselves to apply for more roles. So how do we deal with this?
Well the first thing I try to remember is that it is not personal. There is lots of competition out there, and some companies are better than others at responding. Believe me, if I could change it, and have them all responding, I would. But unfortunately that is out of my or any of our control, all we can control is our reaction and how we respond and think.
So what we tell ourselves at this time is really critical. With each rejection, or each day / week / month not hearing back, we can tell ourselves “it’s not personal, something will come through, it’s a matter of time” etc.. or we can tell ourselves something negative such as “I will never get a job, there is no point applying, this is a waste of time, I am not good enough/ smart enough..etc.” You know those thoughts.. the one’s that make us feel worse by the minute and have us sinking further and further down a negative spiral.
Don’t get me wrong, I have been there, and believe me, I know how it feels. Whilst I am suggesting that you choose a different thought process, I also think it is important to temporarily let yourself feel sad, disappointed or frustrated etc.. (honour your emotions), and then move forward. You could say to yourself “ok I feel crap, I am going to let myself really feel it, then I am going to write in a journal, talk to a health professional, friend, do some art work (art therapy), go for a long walk (to get it out) etc… and then I will move forward".
Perhaps you can analyse what is not working and other ways you can increase the likelihood of gaining an interview. You could ask yourself questions like – Am I applying for the most suitable jobs? Does the job I am applying for match my experience? Are there other places I can apply? How can I differentiate myself? (You can refer to our forum from 12th Feb- how to stand out with a potential employer and 22nd Jan- Creative ways to access the hidden job market for some other ideas).
The other thing is remembering that it is a numbers game. The more jobs you apply for, the more likely it is that something will come through soon. Hang in there, others in similar situations to you have found work, you will too 🙂
Would love to hear more thoughts on this topic 🙂