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Need to talk to people who understand

Hope21New Contributor11 Feb 2016, 11:44 pm AEDT

Need to talk to people who understand

Hi, I'm new to this forum and thought it would be good to talk to some people who understand how I'm feeling.

I'm 27 and have been diagnosed with BPD, depression and anxiety. I have tried for years to change and be more 'normal' but it feels like its just an act and I just don't let people see the real me.

I am single, don't really have any friends and am not close with my family so I feel very alone all the time. My biggest fear in life is that I'll never get married or have kids and just be all alone. I had a career but that is on hold at the moment because I just can't go to work everyday and pretend I'm okay anymore.

I think about death on a daily basis and have had so many suicide attempts and overdoses over the years I've lost count. I feel like things are never going to change but I desperately I want them to. I just want to know what it feels like to be happy cause all I can feel is right now is everything bad.

I feel like such a horrible person sometimes when I see people post about getting engaged or being pregnant I can't even be happy for them because I'm just so envious.

Any advice from anyone else suffering from BPD would be greatly aporeciated. Thanks for reading.

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In response to: Need to talk to people who understand

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2016, 9:55 pm AEST

Re: Need to talk to people who understand

hi @Hope21, im hopeing this doesnt get taken the wrong way but define "normal" everybody has their own individualistic idea of what is "normal" so to be normal is pretty hard when the term isnt specific i was teased all through school and called weird i went home crying everyday because i wasnt "normal" then i had someone ask define normal and really to me what i did, the way i behaved it was what made me, me. i take being weird as a complement now because yes i am weird to others but im not to me and if i changed myself to be somebody elses idea of normal i wouldnt be happy because its not me its not my normal so be yourself thats your normal and if it doesnt fit with others version of normal it doesnt matter because thats what makes you an individual so i ask you define YOUR "normal"?

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