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Something’s not right

Sorry I haven't been here.

Sorry I haven't been here.

I apologise for that and feel like I'm letting everyone down. Truth is, I've been really struggling with stuff. I think I need a complete overhaul of my mental health. Psychosis is creeping in again, along with crushing depression. Tomorrow evening I see my psychologist and I'm afraid if I tell her what is happening for me, I'll get hospitalised again. I cannot afford that in my life at the moment as I've got far too much happening. I can't forsee a day off for myself until after college breaks in September. I cry myself to sleep, I have voices telling me really horrible things, I see menacing shadows and I am pretty sure I have been full on hallucinating again (I cannot be sure, as I'm afraid to ask those around me about reality). I'm stressed out. I can't get any additional help from the NDIS until my plan becomes active in September. I just want it all to stop!

I'm really sorry my friends for not being supportive at the moment. I am just broken.

20 replies

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In response to: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

I went to my gp today for my fortnightly antipsychotic injection and told her what has been going on. She was really leaning towards hospital too (what's with that?) I told her that hospital is more counter-productive than not and am refusing to go.

I told her I am going to the recovery house and she seems to think that is an okay option right now. I am to call her immediately if I get worse or if my psychiatrist wants to admit me. I see him Monday.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

My increased medication means I am sleeping a lot today. My Mrs is very angry at me for that and wants me to stop taking the meds. I am teetering on the edge of collapse.

What should I do?

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Hi there @Queenie sorry to hear how hard things are for you at the moment. None of us are trained medical professionals here and we ask that we dont share or ask for advice regarding medication, whether to take it or not. Only you and your trusted medical team can make those decisions and i would not make any changes without consulting a doctor.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Dear @Queenie

I am reluctant to give a straight answer as I really believe the best outcomes are when people find their own answers .... When anger arises within a household or in a relationship it might mean the need of counselling for both of you ... Are your team open to discussing things with your Mrs ... so that everyone can get on the same page ...

Things have been hard for a while. I hope things turn for the better soon.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Can you call your supports to discuss how you are feeling @Queenie - it sounds like a diffivult position you are in but as @candycane has said - please consult the professionals before making any decisions.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Hi @Queenie,

I'm so glad that you got to your GP.

It's extremely hard adjusting to new medications or doses.

Definitely just stick with the Dr's advice, hopefully your Mrs can understand that, that is something you have to talk over with them.

I'm not up to date with your relationship and how supportive or not supportive it is......I hope that you guys can sort it out. Engaging with a detached third party like a counsellor or therapist is good because then you can both air your grievances without the anger getting too much. We all feel frustrated and angry at times, but your health is #1 right now. I know that having a stable relationship does have a part in our health, so once you're over this latest speed hump with your mental health, and you have more energy you guys could address the issues then. I just think that when you're in a bit of a crisis mode, trying to stay out of hospital you can only do so much.

Take care,

corny

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Hi everyone, Apologies for not being so present of late. I did indeed disappear down the rabbit hole. I had an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist and my meds have been altered now. I explained everything to my pdoc and after some tests were performed, he seems to think there is a possibiity my drink may have been spiked at a party I went to. All the drinks were pre-poured and just sitting behind the bar. My psychiatrist said although I was hearing voices, some of my experiences didn't fit with schizoaffective and rather more fit with side effects of drug taking. I know there was next to no security at this party and there were plenty of people who were obviously high (I know this because I asked my cousin who was unaffected).

I have since vowed to next consume a drink in a bar if it looks the slightest bit iffy. My mental health is just not worth it.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

I forgot to mention everyone, I've been delayed going into the recovery house until September. It's a bit of a let down but the place I was going is fully booked at the moment.

Other than that I am slowly healing.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Hey @Queenie. Far out with the drink - that sounds like a horrible experience. Hope the recovery house works well for you when you do get there. Good to hear you're healing a little.

In response to: Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Re: Sorry I haven't been here.

Sorry to hear about the delay for you going into the recovery house @Queenie but pleased to hear that you are slowly healing

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