Friendships and Fractures

Hi @MoonGal,

justed wanted to know I read it and hear you. I identified with much of your post but for different reasons. When my mood is good I get impulsive. I am much more on the BPD scale than anything else. A good mood for me sees my mouth talking faster than my brain and then I’m often having to mop up stuff.

I can be very intense as well (read often). Once I begin to justify something I’ve learned I am on a slippery slope. It’s gets hard and I always end up with racing thoughts and emotions that don’t leave for days.

I think that perhaps mental illness has been portrayed in the media often lately in a negative light because of people being hurt or killed when someone is mentally unwell. People who don’t know or understand are increasing the stigma I think. It is going to take a lot for some people to understand and have real empathy. I don’t think it is you that is broken as much as someone who chooses to remain ignorant, it’s almost the same as someone who is a climate change denialist. There comes a point that you need to open your mind to see all the facts and process them the best way you can.

Sorry rant over. Perhaps I agree with your last part. I think it is probably a good self care thing to do. I’ve started catching myself more when I’m justifying something and walk away rather than get totally immersed in the thoughts and emotions that go with it. It’s not always easy but it’s self preservation for me.

Take good care @MoonGal. 💜🤗

My issues are tied up with personality disorder traits. I have borderline personality traits @MoonGal, I tend to turn inwards.

had to chuckle at the in for the penny in for the pound and catching before that. 😆.

I think you just helped me as well with something I’ve been struggling with hugely so thank you too. I think I’ve been so caught up trying to justify something it’s been destroying me.

Best of luck with your situation 💜🤗

Sometimes it takes the need of someone else to point it out to you, in order for the penny to drop. When the penny drops I become vigilant with what I say. I then keep saying to myself in my mind. "Think carefully before you open your mouth and say something you will regret ". If I am unsure of my self I feel it is better to make an excuse and walk away.

@Teej isn't it great how you can be chatting here and what you say reminds you that you already know something. This forum is such a good space for timely-"advice" sharing lived experience and what works for someone and reminders back to us about things we might have forgoten about. Hope that thing you have been struggling with shifts for good now. (hug)

@jay2I just wish I had been more thoughtful and careful how I worded what I said, or even said it privately, that might have staved off the fireworks it created. Trouble is when I am reactive, jumpy, irritable and unbalanced I don;t see I am. I am good at spotting hypomania (about day 3 if my partner hasn't told me already) and depression (day 1) but that in between or mixed state my brain/mind is hijacked still and not aware of it. I must do more work on this part. Trouble is I rarely feel unsure of myself if I am cross and grumpy. I go in for the quick bite and strike (verbal! not physical, not ever). My partner bless her cotton socks, doesn't bite back, she just goes still and calm and says 'now,now, that's not helping' or "now, now, thats not loving' and takes herself off quietly. I am a very fortunate woman to have someone with such advanced Moongal management skills.