My life is hell

Hi @Siddhant, welcome to the forum.

Your inner life sounds hard. I've had times, long times too, where I have slept a great deal, way more than is good for us.

Wondering if you have support from a GP, or mental health specialists. Sounds like some help of this kind would be useful for you.

Hope that talking here on the forum, with others struggling with mental health, might help as well. It's helped me.

Kind wishes, Maz

No doc. I hope I get better talking to people here.

I was always carefree growing up. Ive realised it has hampered my adult life. Ive no career. I just get paid alot and have an apartment in a very expensive place but am not valued at all. I go to work and just sit there. My father gives me no responsibility. I feel undervalued. My mom too seems fake. It feels they help me out, out of responsibilty and not love. They seem to not care about me.

The entire world seems to think of me as a loser too. I cant debate them in that, i feel like one.

There might be some aspects of your life, as with mine, where we feel like a failure, @Siddhant. What's helped me is mental health professionals who take a 'strengths-based approach' to help me see my strengths and feel better about myself. Also trying to accept myself as I am, which is always far from perfect. I want to be a friend to myself, in other words. Like I try to be a friend to other people as best I can.

I use to want to be a bodybuilder. Hired a trainer, got my bench numbers up and trusted the trainers diet . In 9 months i looked the same. In the same time frame an ex friend build good muscle and commented eeks your body sucks. All that hard work. It seems if theres a bloody god out there he doesnt like me and gives all the ill mannered people what they want.

I remember i broke down once infront of my father. I said am a loser and his response was so what? Everyone knows!. Its really unfair man. If god is there he really ignored me.

Personally, I don't believe in god, @Siddhant. I believe in the spirit of life in all its complexity. It seems unfair to so many of us. I feel badly done by in many ways. And yet I can also see that if an accident of birth put me, for example, in a very poor nation... then I would look at the kind of life I have as so lucky. And yet I've been poor all my life by this society's standards, born into it and never came into any significant money.

Having said that, I can hear how disappointing it would be to put in so much effort for little result. Maybe there is something else you have a talent for. Could be something to explore if there's any way you can find your way out of the depressed thoughts and feelings.

Agree that factors affect our moods, @Siddhant. Lots of factors in my life have contributed to my poor mental health over a lot of years. These days I try as much as possible to see the good in my life, and when I look I find there's plenty. But having said that, I would find what you have gone through hard too. What your dad said to you is awful. But, yeah, the focus being on import/export sounds promising. How would you go about training for that?