Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

i have bpd and it effects my relationships

chloe56New Contributor22 July 2018, 5:48 pm AEST

i have bpd and it effects my relationships

Hi my name is chloe i have bpd i can not seek help for it due to child protection taking my children due to depression so i can not let them find out about bpd so i need some help with some coping mechanism and to just not feel alone. I am very reactive to percieved critism ie last night i was playing cards with my partner he said you dont help yourself ( apparently he meant it in a postiive way he menat nothing bad) i started crying i went red in the face due to intense feelings i was half yelling at him why do you think im menatally unstable for and all these words came spilling out of my mouth i literally saw my partner as all bad and extrmely arguementive where earlier in the day i saw him as amazing and very caring after i had calmed down and he explained he meant that in the card game he helped me and i helped him thats all he meant i started staring at the floor in shame then the self loathing and the pushing away started, I started saying things like you dont even care about me he responded yes i do i said no you dont. Then i said so why are you away from me if you care ( meaning he isnt hugging me ie hes physically away from me) then after we resloved that i started saying you cant be with me anyway he asked why i said becuase i have borderline and people with borderline are bad well thats what society says then after that i started saying why dont you find someone better than me to be with. After all that i became extremely clingy to him and didnt want him to leave my side.

Does anyone else go through something similiar

3 replies

1 - 3 of 3

In response to: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

Unknown userMember25 July 2018, 10:55 am AEST

Re: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

Hello @chloe56

Welcome to the forums, it is nice to meet you.

Thank you for sharing some of your experiences of BPD and the impact these have on your relationship with your partner and family. It sounds like you are managing a lot at the moment with feeling like you can't access help due to child protection and your mental health. I am not sure what makes you think that child protection will take your children due to having a mental illness, as many parents have mental health diagnoses and seek treatment and have their children still with them.

What you were describing with your partner, sounds really challenging, as you were triggered and it was seemed difficult to manage thouse big emotions. Usually this is something that people would work through with a Psychologist, so you can find ways of riding out those big emotions, and not letting them hijack everything and feeling out of control.

You also might like to Introduce Yourself Here, as there are quite a few parents on the forums with BPD, it is helpful that you are reaching out.

I look forward to getting to know you better,

Lunar

In response to: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

TwinklelightSenior Contributor25 July 2018, 11:10 am AEST

Re: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

hi @chloe56

i thought the same thing when i became unwell with my mental illness that child protection would take my kids from me but that is wrong. like @Former-Member said there are heaps of people with MI health issues and dont have child protection involved.

eventually i did child protection involved in the end but that was my fk up.i was SH and SI, but its all good now.

i do the same with my hubby. i push him away and then i want him close. its just the borderline unfortionlly. we think we are doing or saying the right thing but sometimes we arnt. i do it myself to.

i hope this helps and if you need to talk im always here for you

In response to: Re: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

CheerBearSenior Contributor25 July 2018, 12:18 pm AEST

Re: i have bpd and it effects my relationships

Hi @chloe56. I'm another parent who lives with mental health challenges. I too understand the fear that you and @Twinklelight have mentioned with child protection, and I think fear like that would be experienced by lots of parents who have mental illness.

Child protection have been involved with our family too (in a round about way as it was not directly with me each time). It wasn't exactly about my mental health, though I'm pretty sure that would have been looked into too. Speaking about what is happening for you with professionals who can support you and your family, is the kind of thing that can ultimately help you manage your mental health which may really benefit you and your family. I get how scary it can be to do though, especially if you've had some not particularly helpful experiences in the past.

As Lunar mentioned, there are lots of people on the forum who live with BPD, as well as plenty of others who experience difficulties with managing intense and quickly changing emotions. You're definitely not alone here ☺

1 - 3 of 3