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Self harming and suicidal thoughts

skyehavenSenior Contributor15 July 2018, 7:30 pm AEST

Self harming and suicidal thoughts

My self harming was less often the last couple of weeks, a few days on, few days off. I had dog shows this weekend, I cried all the way there yesterday, but got better as the day went on,, my mood dropped last night and I self harmed, today I started off ok then as I got tired at the show started to feel empty.

After I got home I got an overwhelming feeling of dreading facing another day tomorrow, I just don't want to exist anymore, I just don't want to do it anymore, I have self harmed quite a bit tonight. I will survive and get to tomorrow, just wish I didn't have to.

19 replies

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In response to: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:31 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

thats pretty tough @skyehaven

is there a reason you dont really find them helpful?

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

skyehavenSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:34 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

They keep my safe , but I tend to isolate. And when I get out I struggle to be out for sometime and get really bad for a while.

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:41 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

Hi @skyehaven

things sound difficult. Sometimes when we connect a memory with trauma we release a lot of energy. Maybe that is making it harder atm.

I am wondering about the person you were before the relationship failed with that person. There can be many reasons relationships do not work. It does not mean that you are not worthy of a decent relationship.

I had low self esteem and felt needy, but to get through self harming periods. I made a strong decision to try and find other ways to manage the pressure on me.

You must have a lot of understanding for dogs if you are showing them. A lot of patience and empathy...

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

skyehavenSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:43 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

@Appleblossom I didn't have a relationship with anyone. It was a work issue and I am on work cover.

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:48 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

I am very Sorry I got that wrong. @skyehaven

Job security is important and often an essential part of our self concept.

Was it bullying, or did they not realise what happened to cause the injury.

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

skyehavenSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 8:57 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

I had a breakdown at work almost 2 years ago, they made massive mistakes over 18 months after that in my welfare, than self harmed in the car, in the car park when I arrived December 29th, I owned up, ended up being admitted to hospital for the first of 5 admissions this year, they than tried to get rid of me, claiming I was crazy, cut me off from my work mates, banned me from the property and it destroyed me, as I worked there for 24 years. I am still on work cover, still employed by them, but will not be going back, as they have caused to much damage

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 9:03 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

OMG 24 years... thats a huge part of your life.

What a wrenching and horrible experience.

Sorry that it happened that way. @skyehaven

What is your dog like?

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

outlanderSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 9:03 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

ah i see @skyehaven its hard to socialise when we are low/distressed sometimes it helps though. you shouldve had some supports when you left hospital though.

wow i cant believe that happened at your workplace! how dreadful for you!

In response to: Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2018, 9:15 pm AEST

Re: Self harming and suicidal thoughts

Sorry @skyehaven you described your work problem in an earlier post.

Dogs were a huge part of your life, not just pets.

There are other ways to find meaning again, once your MH supports have helped you become stable.

Transitions are important fo us all .. one or another ...

Take Care

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