WhiteknightSenior Contributor
Loneliness
One of the problems we have with a mental illness is we are more alone than others. This can be and usually is, regardless of having a life partner.
It doesnt mean we cant love our partner as much as others do. In fact our mental illness has given us the capacity to love others more with our mental illness in terms of the extra compassion we can possess for others, our partner of course would be the recipient of that extra care, some compensation for the negatives of putting up with us.
However, we can also go through isolated periods. We can in fact have numerous loved ones or aquaintances lingering in close proximity and still feel lonely. This feeling "like an island" is one that, if you feel the same as I do, its like watching your own movie in a cinema. You might also feel you are thinking to yourself and the voices of people talking is like a distant echo. In my view this "loneliness" is a sign of being troubled. The worst cases I've had with that feeling is pre phychosis. That detachment is not a good feeling and I was powerless to do much about it in the short term.
What helped me was the then pending direction of fine tuning or changing my medication, removing those toxic people that were the worst of my triggers, working close with my GP and smell the roses (in my case retiring). Such changes made enough impact to stop the psychotic events, my last some 5 years ago. I understand most aren't in the situation where they can retire or give up work. The next best thing is to change jobs or relenquish the full time job for 2-3 part time jobs. Changes in job environment every 3 hours or so is better for us than 8 straight hours 5-6 days a week. And I'd also promote never to enter into your own business unless your "abled" partner is the driving force and you the part time supporter that isnt fully relied upon.
Some people like loneliness. We all know the sad souls locked away as depicted in old movies. Someone knocks on the door and the curtain moves but the door is never answered. Comfort in ones own world is ok as long as basic health care, family communication and safety is adhered to. So please make sure that you get energetic on the odd occasion and visit your GP regularly. Otherwise there is nothing wrong with being alone for long periods.
My wife and I lead a quiet country life and twice a week we visit the nearby larger town to do our shopping, a coffee and cake outside a cafe. Not close to the isolation I've described above but with little contact with our towns locals we are quiet and somewhat isolated. Had I not married my lady 7 years ago I would be like a lonely lighthouse keeper....
WK
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BEACON OF HOPE His old legs carried him
He’d endeavour to maintain
All clear and he’d descend
He thought his saddest day
The bitter pill had come |
So for the last time
They gave him a cleaning job
Then one day a boy came by
He didn’t see the connection
Whitenight |
