What now?

Things are feeling so incredibly hard for you at the moment @Eden1919. You're doing so well to stay connected with support (even when it feels impossible to do). I hope your appointment goes ok this week. As a reminder too, if at any time you're concerned about your safety or you need immediate support, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467. Take care.

@Queenie@outlander my appointment is tomorrow and i am so nervous i have never met this person before and i am so scared i dont even feel like i should go it will be too embarrassing besides it wont even help i have messed up and i cant take this anymore i dont want to do this anymore i am trying but i am wasting everyones time i cant be fixed not even to the point of being functional..... i cant go back to that joke of a place that calls itself a hospital i cant take another stay there i am not strong enough to do it again. i need to be gone i just dont know how. @Former-Member i know you have to say that whole thing about contacting those services but in my experience those services are a piece of crap and are completely useless and do nothing but make me feel worse and invalidated. there is no one who can help me and that is the truth there is nothing left to do just because we are programmed as a speices to stay alive doesnt mean it is fair to keep someone here who doesnt want to be here anymore. especially when there is nothing that can be done to make things ok for them. i will go to my appointment tomorrow but then i dont know what will happen.

Everything is feeling really unbearable right now @Eden1919. It's hard to feel optimistic when you've had negative experiences with help-seeking in the past. Despite that, you've continued to reach out for support on the forums and you've committed to going to your appointment tomorrow. That's such a huge strength. I know I'm going to sound like a bit of a broken record here, but it's really important to contact 000 if things change and you're concerned about your immediate safety. Look after yourself tonight @Eden1919 and I wish you all the best with your appointment tomorrow 🌻

Remember @Eden1919 crisis counselling services like Lifeline, Suicide Callback Service and Samaritans are there to talk to anonymously if you are badly struggling (although I think I remember you saying you didn't trust those services, am I right?). Remember services have a duty of care ot keep you safe, including mental health services. I know that sounds like an horrible thing at times because it could mean hospital stays, but in the long run everyone just wants you to stay safe so that you can work on recovery when the time is right.

I wish you all the very best with your appointment tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

@Eden1919 I'm glad to read that you were fine. Although things sound like they have been hard to manage, you are still taking one step at a time - that in itself can be really hard to do. I appreciate your clear and honest feedback of how you would feel if services were contacted without your consent/knowledge. Please know there is no intent to take away your autonomy, only to keep all forum members safe.

Take care. thecolourblue

@Queenie@Former-Member@Former-Member I had my appointment today and the psychologist was nice i liked her but i am scared she wants me to see another service aswell and i am scared to see them and i dont think i have the strength to do this anymore i am just done and i really dont know what to do anymore i cant take it.

You've done so well to attend the appointment and I'm really glad to hear you had a positive connection with your psychologist. It makes sense you're feeling scared about a new service and it will be great to have your psychologist on your side to support you to connect with them. Just as a heads up, we've sent you an email too. Look after yourself @Eden1919🌻

Hi @Eden1919, that's great you connected with the new psychologist. I hope it will work out to be a great therapeutic relationship with her.

Try not to think about the other service just now if you don't want to (unless it is ciritical to yourself). I'd be nervous too and I am sure the service your psychologist wants you to access will still be there when and if you feel ready.

You've shown incredible strength so far and I just know you keep on drawing on that strength to simply keep on going. I applaud you for that.