WhiteknightSenior Contributor
Smooth or rocky roads?
A psych once told my wife- "you'll have trouble differentiating between his MI and his personality".
A great wise statement that was. How do you divide the two? As you get older it becomes worse as memory loss becomes a factor confused with worsening mental illness symptoms.
So this poses more questions than answers. Our lives with mental illness seems from our viewpoint a real struggle, as we battle against challenges time and time again. The road never seems to smooth out for us, compared to others lives. Is that true? I dont think so, let me explain.
Lets take "normal" Freddie. He has a home and works full time, wife working casual, two kids, mortgage $1000/mth, two cars one new one old, $2000 in the bank and is just ok in life in these regards. Looks like a case of a smooth road doesnt it? They have a combined income of say $80,000.
"Billy" has a mental illness. He is on Disability Support Pension, his wife his carer. She works casual and they have a combined income of $45,000. They rent at $1200 per month in a country town.
If Billy is feeling like they are struggling his depression isnt helping. He feels jealous of Freddie as they have just purchased a newish car and Freddie works full time. Billy knows Freddie will get a nice superannuation package in about 10 years time when he retires and Freddie mentions that day when they'll buy a 4X4 and large caravan and tour Australia. Freddie looks like he is "normal" and living the dream.
Let's dissect this a little.
Freddie and his wife pay $15,000 in tax annually, $2000 in doctors and med bills after some rebate, $7000 in fuel to and from work, $3000 car maintenance, $3000 in employment insurance and $6000 private health insurance. Total $36,000. Thats a very rough estimate of extra expenses when Freddie works. Freddie and his wife now has a take home net wage of $44,000 minus mortgage.
Billy, although ill, has free health, free medication beyond a certain expendature, various discounts on things like public transport and doesnt have to rise at 6am 5 days a week. Freddie puts up with work colleagues, bosses and in fact he is always worried about being retrenched which will leave him with his wife's casual income and that will financially cripple them in a short time unless he can a/ get another job real quick (unlikely) or apply for hardship with his superannuation fund - a temporary fix. In fact Freddie is a teacher and his contract isnt being renewed. He frantically looks for work at other schools. To attend interviews he has to take time off work. He stresses and finally has a breakdown himself. Freddie consults Billy over a beer one night.
Billy thinks Freddie will boast about retiring and his round Oz trip. Not so. Freddie has just been approved workers compensation for anxiety and depression work related. Freddie is asking Billy how he has coped over the years with MI.
Mental illness, the struggles of being on a rocky road is one step away for many. These "normal" people have their own struggles, often either easily handled or very well disguised. Dont be fooled that your life with a MI is an unlucky one. When we can watch the bees inside a flower, see the colour of the sky and taste the muffins from our oven...we are as unlucky as the guy next door...or luckier.
We would trade our illness for a working life any day. But the smooth happy roads we think others drive on aren't as great as they seem.
WK
