Conversation for anyone suffering from Herpes Simplex and what impact it has on your mental health?

Hi there,

I can truly resonate with everything you’ve mentioned in your post. I’m in a place where I don’t feel comfortable disclosing my diagnosis with anyone, unless I feel safe to do so. It’s hard to trust people with something so personal & which has so much stigma attached. I’m still trying to accept myself lovingly too. It has made me feel degraded and unclean, but deep down, I know this is not the truth of who I really am. Anyway, thanks for sharing 🙂

Hi hope, I may have HSV2. What’s it like living with it? And what symptoms did you display first?

Hey @Tsl-jrlyx,

I have been living with herpes-simplex 2 for ten years and would like to share some of my experience with you.

I was young when I contracted herpes and was worried that it was going to have a major impact on my physical health and my capacity to connect with others intimately. This was not the totality of my experience.

Though there are times in which I have experienced physical discomfort and the impacts of stigma around STIs, I have also experienced a lot of acceptance and understanding. I have a great relationship with my GP who has supported me to connect with treatments that suit me. Outbreaks can be managed with good medical support, it's worth seeking a GP who has experience with this form of medical care. I have also spoken to a therapist to move through the feelings of shame that I've been conditioned to associate with having herpes.

At the end of the day herpes is a viral skin blemish. Unpacking the stigma can be difficult but I do feel that there has been a lot of progress in the societal view relating to herpes and there are resources that can assist our personal journeying with this. Connecting with a good Sexual Health Clinic can be beneficial not only for testing and treatment but also for dispelling misinformation.

The more that I have spoken about it over the years with friends, peers and medical supports the more I've learnt how common it is. Communication around herpes has led to me developing my communication skillset and the health of my relationships generally.

My sharing here is to offer insight into the lived experience of someone who has struggled with the difficulties that can come with herpes, and has found that in accessing good holistic support I was able to connect with treatment and disconnect from stigma.

This thread was started in 2019 and doesn't seem super active. I'm glad that I saw your post. If you have any questions or would like to speak to someone regarding your experience, I'm open to answering questions and holding space. I hope what I have shared is useful.

Hello Miak

I want to share my story, in case it helps. I was diagnosed with genital herpes 1 in 2016, I had all the painful symptoms. My partner was unaware, as he was asymptomatic. I never had another outbreak, but I often had the tingling sensation for 2-3 years. Now, around 9 years afterwards, I almost never have even a tingling sensation. I must say that my impression is that he also had genital herpes 1, probably from an earlier lover that performed oral sex to him; taking into account my symptoms (Moderator edit) I suspect that I did not catch it through oral sex, not that it matters.

The diagnosis threw me into depression (not a serious one, but not a light one either) for around 5-6 months. Although my partner was completely unaware that he had herpes, he loved me very much and I loved him, the relationship gradually deteriorated to the point that we broke up in 2018; there were of course also other reasons for that. From a quite early age, I almost had a phobia of STDs that could not be justified by my upbringing or my environment: of course, it is a law of nature that if you are afraid of something it will most probably happen to you, so that you learn not to be afraid. As STDs was my sensitive spot, the diagnosis deeply affected me, even though I had one of the least serious versions.

Looking back after many years, although I understand that this diagnosis was indeed an important issue, by no means did it justify such pain and despair. And it certainly should not have affected the relationship with my partner; the break up with him was the biggest mistake of my life. As the herpes diagnosis had played a role in the breakup, I am posting this so that perhaps some of you do not make the same mistake that I made and that you perhaps see the matter in its right proportions. I know that herpes 2 can be a quite different case and one could say that I cannot speak about it, but I want to say also to those of you that have herpes 2 this: since this break up I have been through immense difficulties in my life, to the point that my life philosophy has changed a lot. What I can tell you is that I truly believe that whatever happens to us happens for a reason. In my case the reason was to overcome my phobia, to love myself more and to understand that love, if it is true, must overcome any difficulty. It is not a cliché, it is the truth. Unfortunately, at the time of my diagnosis my self-love was not deep enough and therefore I could also not love my partner deeply enough. I hope that you will love yourselves deeply enough to see the matter in its right proportions; nobody wants an STD but there are far more important problems in life.

Hey @Centaurus I just wanted to welcome you to the forums and to thank you for speaking so openly about your experience and the takeaways that you've gained from this.

It sounds as though this diagnosis and the later break up has spurred on some real self-reflection and growth and it's great to hear that you have been able to focus on self-love.