What's it like for my teenage daughter?

Yesterday started off well enough. I was functional. I got a little stressed organising my teenage daughter to help me prepare the house for homeschool - nothing different there.

How is it for her though? Having the rough ride of puberty coupled with a mother whose grip on reality waxes and wanes like the moon?

Then we discovered that her fellow student was not coming (a fact that I had forgotten because my working memory is so poor) and had gone outside to fetch a load of firewood; I mentioned the holidays and how I wanted to invite my lover and her young boys over to play ...and then the shit hit the fan.

What’s it like for a teenage girl whose had her mother almost exclusively her whole life and then another family with small, rambunctious boys invade her sanctuary? One of the ways she copes is to retreat back home and I am changing that space. Slowly allowing another family in.

After a big talk and hugs we got it together and had a productive homeshcooling arvo and finally I went to soccer training. Soccer is so good for me. The level of fitness helps me tremendously with my illness and the camaraderie between the girls is what life is all about. But when I am ill, I have trouble moderating my mood. I can get too excited. Last night I accidentally kicked a friend and then (she was fine but still) the remorse dropped my mood like a brick and though I was on a well lit pitch on a crisp cool night, my inner landscape had suddenly become dark and vacuous.

I did manage to get it together and even deal with somebody else’s crisis that evening by having a long phonecall while standing on my bed - go figure.

Never a day unchallenged at this time of year. I am not alone, many of my friends are struggling too and sometimes I think of starting a support group for women (sorry fellas but it’s so much easier for me that way) since we live in the country and there aren’t any SANE groups around.

But what about for my daughter? What is there for her?