My Story. DECLARATIONS are POWERFUL.

It was 5/8/2018. Just over a month and a half ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. After one of the WORST weekends on a trip away with my girlfriend and another couple at the beach, I woke up at 3:30am feeling like I was going to die. I woke up gasping for air like there wasn't any oxygen in the room left for me to breathe, my heart was pounding, palpitating, and I couldn't catch my breathe. I got up to get a drink of water and go to the bathroom thinking it would pass, but it only got worse, then finally, in my bathroom, I collapsed, passed out, hit my head on the bathtub and once again was gasping for air. I got back up and grabbed all my homeopathic medication I have been on since being diagnosed with lyme disease, went downstairs and woke up my parents and told then I needed to go to the hospital. All that would come out of my mouth was "I dont want to die, I dont want to die". I could barley walk, I was so unresponsive, It took me probably 10 seconds to answer one question in the ER. I was terrified, I didn't know what was happening....

The ER experience was terrible, I didn't get a single answer of what was happening, but after realizing what was happening, I got my answers. the fear of doing anything was crippling. I could breathe, I was hyperventilating for days straight. I could breathe, sleep, eat. I just wanted this to end...

One night I couldn't sleep, It was just another night of insomnia and wondering if i was going to die, but then I decided to take control. I told myself "Im not dying tonight", "I will live to see tomorrow"

I realized that I stoping dreaming, the fear was so prevalent that I stopped looking for the good things that tomorrow could bring and was only focused on if I was going to die or not right NOW.

So I made a list of declarations, pointing me to a better tomorrow, and I would declare them over me until I felt well enough to go to sleep... here are my declarations.

WHEN I BEAT THIS, IM GOING TO FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD, LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING

WHEN I BEAT THIS, HELL WILL KNOW MY NAME AS "THE ONE" WHO MADE IT THROUGH

WHEN I BEAT THIS, IM GOING TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY WITH MY STORY, AND TONIGHT IS APART OF THAT STORY, IM NOT DYING TONIGHT.

WHEN I BEAT THIS, IM GOING TO OWN THIS FEAR, AND I WILL HELP OTHERS THROUGH THIS. THIS IS NOT THE END

WHEN I BEAT THIS, I WILL BE A THREAT TO FEAR, AND I WILL RECKLESSLY LOVE MYSELF AND OTHERS

WHEN I BEAT THIS, I WILL LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND BE THANKFUL FOR EVERY DAY

.......

I AM, KIND

I AM, A GOOD PERSON

I AM, A RELENTLESS LOVER, EVEN WHEN I GET HURT FROM HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE, ITS NOT A CURSE, ITS A GIFT, AND I WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE

I AM, A FIGHTER, AND I WILL BEAT THIS

I AM, A WORLD CHANGER, AND THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF MY STORY

I AM, A LIGHT IN THE DARK FOR OTHERS GOING THROUGH THIS

I AM, BRAVE

I AM, COURAGEOUS

I AM, NOT HELPLESS. I CHOOSE LIFE!!!!

After declaring these things over me EVERY NIGHT, I was able to get to sleep faster. I took a week or two, but Through this i realized the POWER of declarations. I've heard it said "Life and death is in the power of the tongue" and I didn't believe that until this happened and it was literally life and death for me.

Truth is, I still have anxiety attacks. I feel like I cant live without my medication. I feel like I cant sleep without it. and I know now its temporary but I still want to be without it. its going to take time and people around me to get through this completely. Im so thankful for places like this where I can get the love and encouragment I need. So this is me stepping out and making myself open to love... here I am!

So just out of curriousity, what are your declarations that you make over yourself to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel?