Does anyone else do things and then instantly regret it?

Its only in your mind. Move on. The woman in question probably thinks it was something different. Next time you see that woman just smile at her like you would a long lost friend. Dont dwell on it because it will become a stress. Move on,let it be.

Yep I do that kind of stuff all the time @Scared32. I can’t let it go and it comes back over and over, sometimes for weeks. I don’t have OCD but do get obsessive about things that I’ve done wrong.

Go gentle on you. You are not alone. If it would help you to find her and correct it then maybe it’s worth a try.

Hi @Scared32,

I'm hearing that you felt incredibly guilty for making an amused face at the woman you saw at the cafe. It also sounds like you are feeling ashamed in yourself, given you are usually quite sensitive to people's feelings. Since such behaviours are not characteristic of you, I am curious to know, did you feel pressure to behave in such ways in order to respond to your new boyfriend? It is normal to want to connect with a partner - especially, a new partner. However, I am sure this would bring up inner conflict, if behaving in the ways that are acceptable for him, are not acceptable in terms of your own values.

I can imagine that such feelings of guilt and shame may also be exacerbated by your intrusive thoughts around the woman seeing your amused face and knowing that this was a reflection of yours/your boyfriend's negative judgements towards her. As @jay2 said, and as you may know from a logical perspective, the woman may not know the meaning behind your amused look. However, I understand that when such thoughts are ruminating in your mind, and with a diagnosis of OCD, it is hard to detach or get over your thoughts and feelings.

You said you haven't seen a professional for a while in terms of your OCD. Is seeing someone a priority for you, right now? Also, if you feel your medication is not working, it may be helpful for you to bring this up with your GP or Psychiatrist.

P.S. It is OK that you are using this site when things are especially overwhelming for you. People tend to come and go from the forums based on their level of need. It can be hard to tell family, so reaching out on the forums to your peers can be very helpful, in that light!

Please take care, and continue to reach out if you need any support!

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

@Scared32 I think it was actually the boyfriend pointing it out, that was the issue. Sometimes men do that stuff to mess with your head and exert control. Basically commenting on strangers appearances is unecessary. You would have felt bad if you pulled back from your new bf.

Take care ... work it out and reach out ...

Cheers Apple

Can you try and put it down as a lesson to be learnt or reinforced @Scared32 - instead of beating yourself up?

We are all human, and we all do things that we wish we hadn't. But if we learn from the experience, then it can become a positive.