Can’t get out of this funk

I had a breakdown about 13 months ago and was hospitalised for 2 months with depression and anxiety. I’ve been doing a lot better since getting out, have found meds that work etc., but recently, I can’t seem to get out of this funk. I can’t help thinking that I now is the time for me to just end things. I had suicidal thoughts before I was hospitalised, but this feels different. I don’t have the overwhelming sadness or inability to get out of bed that I had then. This time it just seems to make sense. I don’t feel like my life is going to get any better. I’m just back from visiting all my friends overseas and had a good time, but it just feels like now that I’ve seen them all one last time, im ready. I am currently waiting to hear back if I got a job that I’ve really wanted (and one that will take me back to my friends) but I realise I’m not sure even that will actually make me happy. But I know if I don’t get it, I won’t recover. I just feel like I’ve reached a point in my life where it’s too late for me to get those things that make a life worth living, and living without them feels unbearable. It sounds like I feel hopeless, but the thing is, I don’t. It just feels like this is the right time... I don’t know. I just don’t want to keep living a half-life, and I no longer feel any of the fear or guilt that I once did about just ending things.