Topic Thursday ** CLOSED** OPEN DIALOGUE: Supporting your loved through crisis and beyond

It's seem like you've endured for quite some time @LivingAdl. May I ask how long have you been attending Hearing Voices? And are you finding it helpful?

@Flick in regards to your point that Open Dialogue is always something we've done naturally. In one of conversations you mentioned that although it's not readily available here in Australia, it can be helpful to remember that we can apply its principles to our every day living.

What might this look for someone caring for someone? Would be like setting up a meeting with family and friends to get to the heart of what might be distressing for their loved one?

thank you for the positive comments. You are right - I am finding the health professionals & people who will help the situation, and EFM Health Club have a personal trainer program 5 weeks for $25 - my son is exciting to think he will have a personal trainer (we have been discussing for around 1 year with him not interested, but I just went ahead anyway & now he is excited...!)

@FlickI think many carers can feel like they've exhausted all options, which includes exhausting themselves in the process!

But I guess what I'm hearing is that there is often an untapped resource with a person's social network, where many solution acutally exist if you can dig deep

Hi @Flick, yes, there was just me and my husband at our family meeting after he was in hospital and i felt that all my husband getting better was on my shoulders

That is so true @BeHappy, I feel I am all alone ,

so what can we do @Flick

@CherryBomb It's an interesting question - what can we do if we can't access the professional support that is really meeting out needs, can we do something ourselves?

I think it's an idea that's worth people thinking through for themselves - what is possible?

For me personally, in my relationship with my own family, I have tried really hard to think about how can I open up space for my family members to be really heard, rather than trying to change them.

Likewise, we can model this with clinicians (it's like up-managing at work, you know, when you manage your boss!) - if we ask things like "I'm really interested to understand more, why do you think increasing the dosage at this time is a good idea?" And to actually be really interested in the answer. I admit this is HARD work, and is harder the more we want to change people (e.g. if they are doing things that are hurting someone we love), but it really is key, in my opinion, to listen in the way that we want to be listened to.

I do also think there's merit in this idea of calling a meeting ourselves. The only problem is how we can facilitate if we are emotionally involved ourselves.

My mother is having a really difficult time with my grandmother at the moment - it's not quite crisis, but it's not far off - and part of me wants to jump in and facilitate an Open Dialogue-style meeting, but I am aware that I am too involved myself. If it became necessary, perhaps I might ask a friend who is less emotionally involved.

@BeHappy Yes, Open Dialogue is not designed to be do-it-yourself, it's supposed to be a resource for exhausted families!!

You're right about that untapped resource - there's something quite powerful about bringing together everyone who is at the heart of the crisis, as well as others who are involved but not so heated about it. For example, I wonder if maybe a sibling might be usefully involved - in any generation.

In Open Dialogue, where it is practiced with clinicians, the network might involve a school teacher, a drug and alcohol worker, an employer, a colleague, a best friend, a team-mate, siblings, parents, ... anyone who knows about what is going on and might be able to be part of the dialogue.

As a few members @BeHappy @Cat64 and @LivingAdl have touched on tonight that they feel quite alone and isolated.

It's not uncommon for carers to feel like they are carrying a huge load by themselves. I like the idea of creating your own social network, and pulling your own resources together. It could be done by asking friends who you can trust will be objective, to sit with you and hear you. Or it might even be meeting with other family members to make a plan and work together. Or as @Flick trying to create more open communication with our health professionals? Trying to gather social resources so that you're not alone.

What do other think - could these be things we try and do more often? I suspect it easier said then done. So I would love to hear what others think.