Another Long Rave

Hello All,

Coming back to Sane Forums after Two fairly longish breaks has been emotional because of all of you writing to me of your affection and I've noticed how you have all managed your lives in quite physically difficult and twisty emotional times.

thank you so so much. I work hard in getting around the site but I'm getting caught up in conversations and getting impressed with the empathy that members and mote raptors show to each other. It reminded me of how I've re friended a friendship with my old high school friend ......she was aggressive to me at school and even confessed but we talked abou it......it's taken a long time but we are friends now.

This is is what I want to rave about. I don't know if I'm upset, sad or happy but everyone may know that at almost 51 years old, my Mum is predictable but complex, often we do something together and her friends run over the road and look at me strangely or my brothers stop talking to me.........

we went to a friend that she has had for many many years. When we got there, her friend came running down the stairs and says ' you have stopped seeing these very dangerous men who steal all your money ? I raised my eyes and said, oh I'm very happily married.........

but she's looking at me all strangely..........

i wont go into my Mums reaction to me during the following week but I called her a few days later and went to see her a couple of days later. I visited her friend a week later.

in this delightful but ........upsetting visit I learned that she thought I was going to act like a 10 year old and had an iq of a 10 year old. That my husband was a psychotic beater of policemen. She was told by Mum that I kept on expecting money from her.

It it was a lot to take in. After about 2 hours on this visit.......She wants to do some art courses with me and told me that I was a lot saner than Mum. I was saying that I really don't care what mum says about me ........the visit just was long.....we were enjoying ourselves.

but something in me was coming to some realisations. she kept on talking about how I don't manage my money........it was sad.

I feel sad.

Husband has been very kind to me but it has been a lot to take in.

She has told me some things about mum that were a real surprise to me