@Mrsjones
It is hard balancing life with a new little one as well as with another child with needs an an acutely unwell husband. It is exhausting having to do it all.
I found that medicalising Mr Ds condition made things much easier for me.
I encouraged the steps that were recommended by the treatment team (and found it much easier to understand when it was put in the form of a 'safety plan' and 'management plan').
Mr Darcy has been filling out a daily mood chart, his mood has been stable for quite a while, anxiety is a steady low. With our move 4 months ago I can see perhaps a little anxious hype happening, he is still working out what meaningful things he can do in our new community.
Rather than taking each complaint or negativity personally I began to empathise and remind him it was a symptom of bipolar ii and that we needed to up the ante with treatment/management plan and do what is needed in relation to both medication and lifestyle interventions. I also was intentional about remaining positive myself (it was at one stage very hard to see there was light at the end of the tunnel). I think focussing on what we could do helped take my focus off the negative and I became more intentional about being more loving (affection/ intimacy had been eroded).
I think as carers we need our own management plan too, becoming aware of the things we can do to support our loved ones in a healthy manner and to manage our own health and wellbeing whilst caring for our loved ones and giving it the same priority that we extend to our 'carrees'. I needed to see a counselor to help me do this.
Safety plan = documenting signs and what needs to be done when things are going pear shaped.
Management plan = lifestyle things that help manage disorder ie mood charting, sleep, diet & exercise, meaningful activities etc.
