My life partner has Bipolar ii

@Shaz51 @Mrsjones @Former-Member @Determined @outlander @Sophie1 happy new year!!!

Was a quiet one for us, MsJ doesn't like new years eve and I must say I'm no fan either so she went fishing in the afternoon then we cooked dinner and watched Harry Potter. Party animals 😂

It's been a fairly decent couple of weeks actually, which was not what I expected because MsJ has been working more than usual over the holiday period.

@Shaz51 interesting question about memory and problem solving. MsJ can have a short fuse with problem solving though I have seen huge improvement in the last 12mths. I have to work continuously to not "take over" because I know that's about me trying to avoid her getting in a foul mood. I keep telling myself I just need to let it play out and if the mood eventuates it's not about me it's about her.

As for for memory it seems like a sieve a lot of the time. Day to day that's not too huge to deal with but we went through a very dark and difficult period after we got married in 2011 that for me can still be very painful to reflect on. Now I know a lot of what was going on was about her (undiagnosed at that point) bipolar and the dangerous and hurtful behaviour that goes along with it but to this day she says she has very little memory of what occurred. Her drug use during that period certainly didn't help but I've absolutely seen issues with memory over very big and then very minor things.

@Jay-e

Mr D has next to no memory of his psychotic crisis and he feels a lot of shame about the bits he does, I can only speculate as to what may have happened but have made it my business not to discuss it with him as I do not believe it would be helpful.

It can still be very painful for me to reflect on our critical period too.

Standing back a bit and not taking over is something I struggle with at times too.

How is your new little mademoiselle chien settling in?

@Former-Member MsJ also feels a lot of shame, and I do wonder whether the lack of memory is trauma related as well as related to the MI. We'll never know I guess!

As for Scout, I'm laying in bed watching TV listening to both her and MsJ snore their hearts out lol. She's well and truly made herself at home and we just adore her! One of the highlights of the last couple of weeks was a quiet afternoon MsJ wanted to go fishing so we packed some snacks and set off to her secret spot. Watching MsJ and Scout run around in the water just made my heart melt!

@Jay-e makes one wonder who snores the loudest 😁😵. Lovely that the French one has settled in well.

You might want to have a look at our discussion on 8 dimensions of wellness where last week we discussed 'environmental wellness' being out in nature one aspect of this.

@Former-Member love that thread on wellness! Totally up for that, I started reading but my eyes are also closing (first day back at work for me after 2 weeks off!) So I will definitely check it out tomorrow, thank you!!!

One thing that I really do find difficult is Mr Darcys attitude towards both himself and others with mental illness. When he was in hospital he was polite to, not judgemental and well liked among the other patients. Even out of hospital he will talk to others with mental illness without judgement, he is more a listener than a talker and don't we all want someone to listen to us. However, he finds the negative symptoms of MI really difficult and views himself as a loser, perhaps the lack of empathy towards himself is a reason as to why he lacks empathy towards others in the same boat. I gently try and steer him in the direction of self compassion and towards others. He is a very tenacious person and has put in the hard yards of recovery and he finds it hard when others are not able to do the same.

He is not good around physical illness either. Having moved closer to family, he is very reluctant to draw on their support or to help them. I am still working out the practicalities of how we can help family members that need support whilst keeping stress to a minimum and feel that there will be times when I need to go by myself. Knowing how best to support the family is something that I have a bit of difficulty with.

Has there been a decline in reading skills with Mr Shaz or has it always been problematic @Shaz51 ?

Mr Darcy found concentration with reading difficult but seems to be doing a little better lately.

it always been problematic @Former-Member

he finds the negative symptoms of MI really difficult and views himself as a loser,--- same here

and his family are very negative too

are you ok my @Former-Member

Hello @Jay-e , @Mrsjones , @outlander , @Determined

Hello all, @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Jay-e

Mr Jones says the same thing, he says he is a loser but holds so much compassion for other people in his similar situiaton. Mr Jones jokes about his illness alot, sometimes I can handle it but some others I dont deak with it very well. Not always something to joke about.

An update on the Jones household; Mr Jones came home on Wednesday after being away for a total of 10 weeks. He is feeling well and has a great plan moving forward, once again abstaining from alcohol will be the hardest. He is seeing his psychiatrist on Monday, he has some questions about the medication choices. He is focusing on going to the gym, taking the dog for a walk, reading and doing meditiation every day.

I have 6 weeks until I go back to work, with Mr Jones being the stay at home dad role for our family. The connection between him and our daughter is working itself out over the past few days which is beautiful to see, and so far do not see any issue with this so far.

Mr Jones has very poor memory, huge impact from the ECT treatments but also doesnt remember alot from depressive episodes (similar to Mr Darcy).

Does anyone have experiance with claiming income insurance? Mr Jones has put in a claim and has provided letters from doctors stating his inabilty to work due to illness, also supplied discharge reports and so on. Advice from his support network of professionals say that they do not see any reason as to why the claim will be rejected. Fingers crossed as the 1 income is becoming a struggle. Mr Jones is not able to claim disability pension due to my income.

I hope you are all well.

Mrs Jones