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And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Heya Gang...

Its been a while, but Hello! *waves*

I just thought after my last post a while ago now... I should probably share some more postive news... so after "Enter the darkeness..." here we are, In the sun again.

For those of you who havent seen any of my posts... I am a 30 year old full time professional... who happens to love a 30 year old full time BiPolar Bear! He is my world... even when he is being... difficult.

In December of 2017, he had a full psychotic episode, it was his first after several rounds of suicidal depression, then mania, then depression... then normallacy... and I have to say I was surprised and didnt actually know what to do when faced with the completely irrational thoughts of my highly intellegent and usually compassionate man. We had Police, and Ambo's, 2 trips to hospital and eventually... an outcome... which is what I want to share with you.

7 years... thats how long we have been on this merry go round... S-E-V-E-N Years... of medication changes, therapy approachs.. ups... downs... and all manner of things inbetween. But finally... we appear to have found the one medication that keeps him level... that allows him to process things in a managable form... that allows him to look at his beliefs (with his Psych of course) and begin to heal his tormented past.

We still have so far to go... and I think that we will live on our merry go round for the rest of our lives... but thats ok... becasue we have found a place where the ups and downs are not so severe... where healing can begin... and where we can just... be...

So as hard as it seems at times... as horrific as the process is for trialling and changing meds... as challenging as the hunt for that one professional is who will be the difference... it can be done... i promise you... the sun will rise... and you and your loved ones, can be ok.

Dont lose hope, keep talking... and take care of yourself above all other things...

xx

Tigz

38 replies

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In response to: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

I don't think our whippet has the same 'service dog' potential as your germs @Tiggeroo, although there was one day recently when Mr D really anxious and she was a bit wary of him. He walks our girl every day (lost our boy about 7 weeks ago). Is anxiety an issue with your bipolar bear?

Took a long time for me to be able to breathe after Mr D's crisis which did include an attempt and I was praying you would be spared from that. Have you been able to get back into playing sport and doing other things you enjoy?

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Hey @Former-Member,

I recently changed employers so I have been focussing on work a bit and not so much the fun stuff. But we are getting more into a routine that involves more laughter and fun than sadness and despair... so im happy with that.

Anxiety is a huge issue for Bipolar Bear... the main reason he no longer works is he would get himself in to a state of anxiety resulting in panic attacks after simply getting out of bed and hopping in the shower for work. He also gets quite anxious about events where there will be lots of people he needs to interact with, for example, work events with me. Its awful to witness.

The germs used to get "scared" but recently they have opted to go to him instead of run away... which is a new behaviour for them but it is working so go them haha! Apparently they signed up to the team "we are going to beat this" memo's haha!

Darcy I can only imagine what you must have gone through with Mr D, I felt utterly useless in our situation and I cannot even begin to imagine watching my partner in that much distress. You must be incredibly strong. I hope that Mr D sees that... even if it is only sometimes! I know that recently Bipolar Bear has become more aware of what my life must be like, and he doesnt understand why I stay... if only he saw the man I see and not the monster his brain shows him. But just in case no one has told you lately... I think you are truely amazing!

xx

Tigz

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Pleased to hear the Germs have "got with the program" Tigz.

As hard and as frustrating as it has Mr D does not have the drinking or substance abuse issues and he is a very kind person, his delusions were religious, not personal. I think he struggles with his diagnosis more than I do.

I would imagine that you too have had reserves of strength that you thought were not possible that have kept you going in the hard times.

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

@Tiggeroo any improvement on the anxiety? Mr D's is more OCD like - not one thing repeated all the time, but lots of little things - his latest is taking the soap out of shower bay - I have to check each time before I go in 😬

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Hey @Former-Member,

We have had my mumma bear here with us for the long weekend, so all of us have been a little more relaxed. Just having "mum" around the house has been a nice change for both of us, even as adults!

We have all gone out together every day, and Bipolar Bear has coped really well. Just trips out for a few hours here and there, he has been a champ.

Anxiety can be such a tricky beast! His anxiety can also manifest in what i had always assumed was an eating disorder before i really got to know him. When he is feeling anxious he only eats VERY limited food. As in chicken and potato.... thats it...

In saying that, i also know can use his eating habits as a warrning sign... when he starts to avoid other foods, i know it is time to start working harder on our communication and monitoring him a little more closely.

It sounds like you need a wall mounted shower gel dispenser @Former-Member! I personally know another young man with crippling OCD, and i often think i have no idea how his partner copes with it, but she probably feels the same about me haha!

Tigz

xx

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Mama bears are wonderful @Tiggeroo even when we get older.

Sometimes I think we all think others have it worse Tigz - Mr D's OCD things aren't so bad, a bit here and a bit there, not all day on the one thing, I just leave him to doing things slowly.

In response to: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

@Tiggeroo

I am wondering if you have heard of the cousin of bipolar bear ... the molar bear.

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Found a few more relatives @Tiggeroo

Hope you are going ok ....

Bowler Bear

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

@Tiggeroo

Been thinking of you, how are you bearing up?

In response to: Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

Re: And then the sun will rise... I promise you...

@Tiggeroo
Hope your going ok
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