Lonely

Maybe it relates to where we get our energy and less to anxiety ??

I am an introvert and need a lot of time to process groups and social interactions.

I Need home to regenerate.

Jung's understanding introversion and extraversion is a key personality trait.

When I managed to see it in terms of traits rather than always fear and threat ... it took some of the intensity out of meeting and dealing with people.

Thank you apple blossom and everyone

i am feeling so bad today. A couple of things have happened in the last few days - things people did and said - that if I was not depressed and anxious would not have mattered much, or maybe not at all. As it is I feel very vulnerable and fragile and these things have hurt me so much I am feeling sick in the stomach and have a bad headache that feels like I’ve got knives in there. I’m feeling absolutely crushed and beaten and so alone trying to deal with it. Please could someone help with some words, which of course is all I can get here

@Lula. Sorry to hear the past few days have been so hard. Yes depression and anxiety do make us more sensitive to many things, including words people use.

Reminds me of that old rhyme. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

They got that so wrong. Words are very powerful. And there are a lot of people in the world who don't think before they speak.

I understand it would be hard, but can you try to let their words just float away. Put your own positive words in their place. Eg: I am strong. I am compassionate. I can do many things. etc etc. Just find a few words you are happy saying. You may not believe them, initially, but over time the more we say them, the more our brain believes them. Maybe use words that are the opposite of what your friends said. eg: if they say, you never go out. Say, I make every effort to go out. Because we all know how true that is.

Hoping that you manage to get a good sleep tonight.

@Lula

Yep, I can relate... however I do have my dogs and they are pretty much my reason to be here still.. an accident driving home after night shift 8years, 3mths, 3weeks 12 hours and 4mins ago... not that this date and event is still in my head much 😕 this was a precursor to the eventual loss of what I would call everything and everyone, ever known..

we we lived in a shipping container for a few years after two years of trying to return to work, was a failure due to my mental health. Or lack there of.. I chose to talk about all the issues going on at the time, almost all external of myself however impacted me directly. For the first two years, then really became withdrawn for a year almost never leaving my room. Then pretty much everyone I had helped during this time, screwed me over in one way or another.. maybe my fault as a result of my condition (Bi-P, anxiety, inability to deal with generally being out in public, unless for a reason - then head straight back to our little hill, PTSD or similar. Each Dr seems to have their own view) not being able to stop reliving my 8+y saga.. after a while friends would have been soooooo sick of hearing my stuff..

i did think it was better better to be alone (apart from the Mutz 🙂 instead of always worrying about what I knew people thought of the “new” me.. I am not 1/100th of the person I use to be.. I now accept this, 😞 will most likely never be a life I am going to live again. However I don’t want to stay away from all people, forever. Can NEVER see that I am going to be “normal” and or able to live in the city, moving to a remote location in northern nsw with my superannuation payout, off grid, big fence and a little local store 28kms away, local pub 68kms round trip.. I am disappointed in myself for saying this but I think I do need to have at least one or two people to chat to.

Tried going to the local for for an hour or two, even told them all I am broken.. weirdly most of them said they were also...lol made me a little happy, yet ashamed when once or twice a month I try to get some form of interaction and end up retelling the saga... grr..

i feel bad bad for writing so much and don’t even know if this is where I should be writing it.. thank you @Lula for your post. It allowed me to ramble on..

may i I ask if you have any pets Lula?

I'm the same. Grew up in an abusive family, moved on my own to Australia, no partner and no friends who see me as number 1. They all prioritse other friends or their partner. I feel like such a loser.

Hello @Frogs

I'm sad for you that no one's replied and it's been a few days since you posted. Maybe because the thread hasn't been active.

I can relate to being alone and lonely. No friends, little or no contact with family. Haven't worked for a while so feel very cut off.

Do you work? That used to be my main interest. You're very brave to have settled here by yourself and I think it shows a real sense of purpose and independence that's admirable. I hope you can be happy here - and I'm glad you reached out.

Take care

Dimity

Hi @Dimity and @Frogs

Yes - this thread has been inactive for some time - and I just came across it for the first time and read it and thought about that - not much ever happened here which must be painful. And lonely too. A lonely thread

What I have found through life is that loneliness does not draw people together - people are alone for many reasons - I am and I have been for 30 years and it's okay now - I like it - it was hard in the beginning

But @Frogs - I don't think you're a loser because other people tend to prioitise their families and other friends - that is no reflection upon you - I don't know anything about you but I am sure you're not a loser.

In fact - the journey from being lonely to being a loner is quite an adventure - I am sure you already know various places to go to look for people and it's hard to break into - this I know -

But we are a family here - we called ourselves The Forum Family and we accept each other for who we are - sharing all sorts of details about ourselves that we would not share with people in our real lives - but not our names or our faces - and we are safe

You are both welcome here and I would like to extend the friendship of the forums

Dec